Apps and Art

One of the things I like about the BlogDumps meme, Top Sites Thursday, is that the ongoing theme, Two Thoughts on Tuesday, gives me permission to cobble together two completely unrelated thoughts into a post instead of laboring to find a single topic.  What’s that?  It’s my blog and I can do whatever I want?  Really, aren’t the cages we build for ourselves are often the hardest to escape?  But that’s another post, probably on Saturday when I post the serious stuff no one wants to read anyway.   Meanwhile, the Two Thoughts this Tuesday are on Apps and Art, subjects with nothing more in common than that they both start with A, which does make for a nice alliterative title.  First …

Apps

I need music wherever I go, and these days,  my music travels in my Samsung Galaxy II Skyrocket.   Because I buy a lot of music from Amazon, I’ve been using the Amazon mp2 Player, even though it can be a little quirky.   Today, it was a lot quirky.  Every track was showing up twice and only one of the versions was actually an mp3 file.   As a result, none of my albums would play through so I decided … it was time to look for a new player.   After all, one of the reasons I’m an Android guy is that I like a wide choice of apps, even if that means some of them are quirky.  So I went to the Google Play Store and began my search, finding everything from very basic players to complete music file managers.   I always read some user reviews … a few good, a few bad … to help me make up my mind when choosing apps.  What I found …Thought Number Oneis that we have become a world of whining little weenies when it comes to our apps.   I mean, crashing and freezing are worth complaining about but how about: you can’t change the order of the songs in the playlist that you make (aawww!) or  it tends to play the same songs on shuffle (oh, my!  That’s how random works, weenie).  I love this one: the user interface could stand to be more colorful.   Hello?  You are holding technology in your hand that wasn’t possible five years ago and you have 3,235 similar apps at your disposal at the Google store.  Get over yourselves.  On to …

Art

I have been a tireless advocate for artists who produce, let’s say, odd and peculiar works and performance pieces.   I’ve defended monocolor canvases and endless film loops of dogs barking and collages of junk on plywood from those who would say, That’s not Art!   But New York artist Martynka Wawrzyniak has taken her work to a place where even Older Eyes cannot follow.  According to Wired, her new exhibition, Smell Me, at envoy enterprises gallery in New York showcases vials of the artist’s scientifically extracted hair oils, sweat and tears.  Working with a group of students at Hunter College, she collected various body secretions and oil from her clothes for the exhibit.  I started wearing a lab coat and goggles and going to the lab every day of the summer, Wawrzyniak recalled. I sweated into T-shirts and brought them to the lab. I stripped the wax out of my hair. And I cried into vials and collected tears, which was the hardest collection.   Oh, yeah.  In perhaps the grossest of her body odor extractions, she coated herself a mixture of mineral oil and paraffin beads and, in her words, marinated for three hours before scraping off the mixture and adding more wax to make … you guessed it … body odor candles, which she advises against lighting.  What’s weird is, those candles have a little bit of a smell liked cooked human, she said. The beautiful, fresh sweat … smell turns more into the cooked smell of meat or onions cooking. I wouldn’t recommend actually lighting those candles unless you like the smell of a burning woman.   Hmm.  Beautiful, fresh sweat?  Yuck.   So here’s Thought Number Two, Martynka: I’ve met women who thought their shit doesn’t stink.   But never have I found one who thinks her B.O. is art.   It’s not.

Now, please excuse me … I feel a need to shower.   If you do, too, please press my button … gently … before you go to make me Number One on Top Sites Tuesday # 174.


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8 Comments on “Apps and Art”

  1. cherperz Says:

    I don’t ever whine over apps. If I don’t like the one I have, I find another one to try. Thank goodness, I had a lot more loyalty as far as husbands go.

    I am confused by your statement about being an Android guy because of apps. I had to stop and look up what I am about to say. Apple has 590K apps avail. Android has 320K avail. BUT … Doesn’t nearly any/every app have a version to work on Apple and Android. Some of my family members have Android phones and I haven’t run across an app that they have that I haven’t been able to download and vice versa. Out of all the possible apps couldn’t anybody find enough good apps for ANY phone they like?

    I am a big fan of your phone, l like my Iphone as well..different but both have pros and cons.

    As for art, I don’t consider body odor art. There is a point that a person just can’t “call” something art and remain credible.

    Click

    • oldereyes Says:

      You’re right … it’s probably true for either phone but I have little experience with Apple. My choice of Android has more to do with issues regarding open source software and having a more dangerous but entrepreneurial world for software development. Geeky philosophy stuff.

  2. cherperz Says:

    Is there a blogdumps button on your post? It’s not showing up on my computer this morning.


  3. I do get a bit twitchy when any of my electronic devices act wonky, but I also appreciate how far technology has come, and I am constantly amazed with the new apps – but those “complaints” are definitely too much!

    Um.. I love scented candles. But those are just SERIOUSLY disgusting!

  4. territerri Says:

    I am actually laughing out loud. Body Odor candles are NOT what this world needs. You have to wonder what goes through people’s heads sometimes!

    As for apps – it amazes me how someone can have a random thought and put the time and energy into making it into an app. For instance, you hate seeing baby photos in your FaceBook news feed. How about an app that is designed to recognize characteristics of baby faces and then replaces them with the photo type of your choice, say, maybe CATS? Out with the babies. In with the cats. I cannot make this stuff up!

  5. Wolfbernz Says:

    Hi Bud,

    I had to run to the shower first before coming back to press the button and leave a comment. I really felt that was necessary… I’m really glad I just ate dinner before I read your post. That’s just gross.

    Clicks for you!
    Wolf

  6. Trina Says:

    I had this great comment about apps all in my head and then I read about the art… really? It was harder to collect tears than make candles or collect sweat? That’s just gross. And did people really go to the exhibit and “smell” her? YUCK! I mean, c’mon that’s not art. And realistically, how do you make money with that? She has got to be adding to the starving artist statistics.

    Clicks!
    –Trina


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