Monday Smiles – 11/1/2010

In my Thursday Men’s Group, there used to be two Buds.  One was generally upbeat and often humorous and was dubbed … by our notorious nicknamer, Jerry … Bud Light.   While I can be humorous and try to be upbeat, I’m given to serious introspection and thought. Naturally, I became Bud Heavy (a nickname I choose to believe reflects my disposition rather than my waistline).    Partly because the other Bud has moved to New England and partly because I’ve made an effort to be a Lighter Bud, I don’t hear my old nickname much anymore.  But I still have my Heavy moments.

Today I awoke in a mood that could only be described as brooding.   Looking back at the weekend, I can find a number of potential triggers.  On Friday, my wife and I went to see Hereafter, Clint Eastwood’s slow-moving … and very secular … meditation on what comes after death.  While it seemed to me to be a flawed film, it was indeed thought-provoking for a serious thinker like Older Eyes.   Thinking in an area that I rarely find much solace, regardless of my beliefs.   Saturday was low-key.   My wife had plans with some friends, so I had time in the park, time for errands and time to watch lots of football, ending (unfortunately) with a decisive defeat of my Alma Mater by Oregon.  I’ve noted here before that I’m a sore loser, never more so than when our opponent has a mascot that looks like a Disney nightmare.   Thank goodness Notre Dame and UCLA lost, too.   Sunday, we met our nephew, Dave, who was in San Diego on business, in Temecula for lunch and then a stroll through Old Town.  It was very good to see him but the day was somewhat tempered for me by an attack of an intestinal buggy that forced me to keep a close eye on the restroom signs.   It probably didn’t help that I tried some samples at an olive oil tasting bar in Old Town.  Older does not always mean wiser.   I finished the day by watching Shutter Island, Martin Scorsese’s disturbing film about insanity and family mayhem.

So, how do I stop The Return of Bud Heavy?   Experience tells me that my mood is mine and it’s mostly attitude.  Experience has taught me – do the next indicated thing.  Have a light breakfast, get into the car, drive to the park and start writing.  One paragraph into my Morning Pages, I glance up and there is something that was there all along … a splendid Southern California morning.  Ducks standing at attention along the shore and coots kickboxing in the lake, a sure sign that mating season approaches.  No.  Not old coots.   Bird coots.  A friend calls to say hello and I call the Love of My Life to say good morning.   A to-do list begins to appear in the in margins of my notebook and my Morning Pages morph into this post … which is OK.  Julia Cameron says I can write about anything.  I write a gratitude list and I meditate.  My attitude is improving.  It’s Monday.  I’m smiling a little with bigger smiles predicted for later in the day.

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4 Comments on “Monday Smiles – 11/1/2010”

  1. I have a tendency to think too much and I spend a great deal of time dedicated to serious introspection as well. And quite frankly, that can be exhausting.

    Maybe I should consider writing a gratitude list and schedule in the time to meditate?

    PS: Hope your stomach bug passed quickly.

    PPS: I loved the movie Shudder Island even though I found it to be INCREDIBLY disturbing!

  2. oldereyes Says:

    My stomach bug seems gone … but my overthinking goes on and on. perhaps that’s why we’re such prolific bloggers. I am a big believer in both gratitude lists and meditation but find myself very resistant to taking the time to meditate.

    It is really good to have you reading again.

  3. territerri Says:

    I love your ability to recognize a dark mood for what it is and to bring yourself out of it. I know when a dark mood is coming, but something stubborn in me refuses to fight it, choosing instead to wallow in it. It usually takes a good night’s sleep and a brand new day to bring me out of it.

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