Moms’ Day

It’s Moms’ Day and in thinking about what to post, I realized that in this time of two income families and career women, my experience with four generations of mothers … grandmothers, mothers, wife and daughter … is very likely a thing of the past.   All four generations have been and are stay-at-home Moms.  In the case of my grandmothers and my Mom, that was simply the way things were done.   For Muri and I, it was a choice, one made easier by the fact that once the kids were in school, she worked for the school district so she could be there when they came home.  My daughter’s decision to stay at home with the kids is an uncommon one these days, one I appreciate as both a father and a grandfather.



My grandmothers were Mary on my mother’s side and Louise on my father’s.  Louise was our Grammareed and Mary was Nanny.   Grammareed was the more serious and stern of the two, always loving but uninclined to dote.  I know enough about my father’s childhood to know her path as a mother was not easy, so her harder outlook is no surprise.  The Dad my father turned out to be given the father he had reflects well on Grammareed.  Nanny was the sweet, doting grandmother who thought I could do no wrong (she never suspected her goldfish died because I fed them tobacco).  Every grandchild should be doted on by a grandparent and Nanny was our designated doter.   My kids missed out on that with our parents because we lived so far from home which is one of the reasons my daughter appreciates having Muri and I close by.

My Mom with Amy and Aaron

My mother, Florence, was a renaissance woman given her time.  She oil painted and sketched in charcoals.  She played music, from Broadway to classical … and always knew when there was a meteor shower or some other show in the night sky.  She fed the birds and squirrels, sometimes by hand.   She taught me, by example, to love music, art and nature.  She also taught me the importance of spirituality, although her particular brand of spirituality didn’t work for me.  Though she didn’t exactly approve when I brought home a girl of another faith, she did her best to accept Muri, eventually telling me she realized that she was the perfect wife for me.

Muri's Mom with Muri and Amy

Muri’s Mom, Violet, did the same for Muri, accepting the cocky Catholic kid when her husband was very opposed.  She was a kind and gentle woman who taught goodness through example and took life as it is with grace.  Much of what I love in Muri is a direct reflection of her Mom.  I wish I’d had a chance to tell her that before she passed away at the age of ninety-one.   That’s just another reminder that we need to tell the people we love how we feel about them while there’s still time.

I suspect that people who don’t get to be parents themselves never really appreciate their own parents.  As kids (even teenage kids) we think life is all about us, that our mothers were put on earth for our care and feeding.   In being parents we get to see that Mom actually had a life of her own that brought its own joys, sorrows and concerns … yet she still managed to be the thoughtful Mom we remember.   Through our ups and downs, Muri has always set the kind of example her mother set for her.  She’s been the steady hand to balance my impulsiveness and passion (code word, sometimes, for temper).  She has always been the listener in the family, a role which sometimes wears on her … I’m not sure our children appreciate that enough.  In being a father with Muri by my side, I don’t know how single parents do it.

Then, there’s my daughter, Amy, mother of three under the age of six … Reed, Maddux and Savannah,  who gives me the opportunity to watch the woman I loved as My Little Girl as a Mom.  It’s easy at my age to remember just the joys of  having small children but through Amy … and a few times we’ve watched Reed, Maddux and Savannah for extended periods … I get to appreciate again how much work it is being a Mom, especially a stay-at-home Mom.  Amy does some things differently than we did … to these Older Eyes, some seem better, some worse … but I can see how happy those three little monkeys are and how much they love her.   Being a good Mom isn’t down in the details of parenting style anyway, it’s in the heart and Amy’s got a good one.  And, as a bonus, I get to see Muri as a Nana … and to see the light in her eyes when the kids come running her way.

So, it’s Moms’ Day.  Happy Mother’s Day to Muri and Amy.  Happy Mother’s Day to every Mom out there.  You are loved, perhaps more than you know … and still, perhaps, less than you deserve.

Explore posts in the same categories: family

Tags: , , , , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

8 Comments on “Moms’ Day”

  1. muri Says:

    Of course this post made me cry!! It made me miss my mom and yet, appreciate her even more, when reading your very apt description of her.
    I, too, love watching our lil’ girl be a loving mom to those precious monkeys!! It’s way more work than I remember!

    As time goes on, it’s hard to remember all that we did as parents. I do know that we loved mostly every minute of our journey with them. At times it was a real challenge, but we did our best and they turned out to be good, caring, and kind adults. I, too, marvel at how single parents manage on their own!! Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there. Enjoy your day, as I intend to do:).

  2. granny1947 Says:

    Beautifully said Bud and I love Muri’s comment.
    I was a single Mom for a long time and a single grandmom for five years…enough said!

  3. I really do love to read your stuff when you wax sentimental!
    I was a single parent -well, still am that I guess -with three kids to raise. No it isn’t easy a whole lot of the time but yet, the benefits in the long run outweigh the bad times, for sure. (My son, who at the age of 12, was being somewhat badgered by his Dad to come live with him. I told him he could make his choice but only after going through some extensive counseling to help him make a decision. He opted to stay with me and his sisters and will tell you, if asked today, about making that selection that he’s quite happy he chose to stay and live a life of poverty with 3 very opinionated females! Gotta love his logic, don’t’cha?)

  4. Cheryl P. Says:

    Hi Bud, What a lovely post. I think that is a wonderful tribute to the different generations of your family.
    Isn’t there great joy that comes in seeing our daughters be great mothers?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: