Atonement and Forgiveness

This morning, Muri and I will be back in the park, reading the Yom Kippur liturgy from the High Holidays prayerbook, the machzor, bringing the Days of Awe to an end.   As with Rosh Hashanah last Thursday, we began the holiday last night with a nice dinner, roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and spinach then went out for frozen yogurt afterward.  We’ve been fasting since then and will until sunset today, as is traditional, symbolically putting our spiritual life before our physical needs and wants.   Yom Kippur literally means The Day of Atonement on which we complete the process of repentance or teshuvah for transgressions we’ve committed during the past year.  The liturgy includes two confessions, Ashamnu, a short list of sins in general form and Al Cheit, a longer and more specific list excerpted here:

For the sin that we have committed under stress or through choice;
For the sin that we have committed in stubbornness or in error;
For the sin that we have committed in the evil meditations of the heart;
For the sin that we have committed by word of mouth;
For the sin that we have committed through abuse of power;
For the sin that we have committed by exploitation of neighbors;
For all these sins, O God of forgiveness, bear with us, pardon us, forgive us!

But there’s a catch.  While fasting and prayers today atone for offenses against God, sins against other people can only be forgiven if we have reconciled with them by settling disagreements or debts and asking forgiveness during the days leading up to Yom Kippur.   According to tradition, if we are asked for forgiveness, we can withhold it the first two times we are asked but on the third time, we are required to forgive.  Hence, Yom Kippur is not only a time for Atonement, it’s a time for Forgiveness and Reconciliation, a new start with friends and family.

Some Jews spend most of the day in synagogue but we usually return home around noon, when our stomachs start growling, and take a little nap.   As the day draws to a close, we’ll break the fast the way we’ve done it ever since we were sweethearts in college (and I was a Catholic boy fasting for my first Yom Kippur) … with McDonald’s milkshakes.   We’ll have dinner, something easy on the empty stomach … and it’s a new year.  As Yonah Bookstein says in an article titled Yom Kippur etiquette guide: Forgive and be forgiven in the Washington Post: May the lessons of Yom Kippur inspire us to show compassion, forgiveness, and love to  ourselves and each other, and renew our souls.

L’Shanah Tovah.

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