The Grumpies Again

Have you ever opened your eyes on a beautiful, sunny morning and known … immediately … that you had a bad case of The Grumpies?  Not only did you know you were in a mood, you knew that nothing or no one was going to pull you out of this mood.  Oh, yeah, you get up and pretend that first cup of coffee would turn the tide or that whatever you usually do in the morning to start your day off right would be the antidote.  You pretend that somewhere along the line someone will say, Cheer up, or I love you, and you’ll have a regular day.  But in your heart-of-hearts, you don’t believe it.  Not gonna happen.  Have you had a day like that?  I did, yesterday.

For roughly 70% of my life,  I thought that my bad moods were caused by something that happened or something someone did, so I took them out on the world around me.  Then, I started to notice that in most cases, things were pretty much the same the day before and after.  The Grumpies are  mine and I try to spare people the displeasure of my company until they pass so I said a cursory, Good morning, to Muri then headed to the park. My Morning Pages were two pages of scribbled cursive complaints, prayers felt empty, gratitude list was rote.   A man I sponsor called to talk about something that was bothering him.  Usually, helping someone else lifts my spirits … unless I’ve got The Grumpies.  I had a healthy lunch then took an hour nap … but woke up just as cranky, so I set to cleaning the garage.  Three hours of sweaty, grimy Chop Wood, Carry Water didn’t improve my mood, either, but at least a hell of a lot of work got done.  Sometime during dinner, Muri asked if I wanted to see a movie.   I’ve been in a foul mood today, I said, as if it was a secret.  I know, she answered.

Even the worst case of The Grumpies doesn’t last forever.  When I’m ready to rejoin my life already in progress, I’ll find a lifeline.  Almost anything will do when I’m ready and nothing will do until I am.  Friday, it was Muri’s invitation.  We didn’t go to the movies but we went and sat in the park again, just to read for a while as the twilight settled. It’s my favorite time of day.  In Stephen King’s Duma Key, Edgar Freemantle, a businessman severely disabled in a construction accident is discovering that his newly found skill as an artist comes at a price: things he includes in his pictures tend to happen and he can’t entirely control what he paints.  Back at home again in my recliner over several glasses of Pinot, I watched Neo discover that he was The One for the 75th time.   I drafted this post and retired late.

Now, it’s Saturday morning.   The sun is out and the quail are chattering on the back slope.  Mr. P is sitting on my desk, hoping for treats and scritches.  Everything is just as it was Thursday (except that the garage is clean) and just as it was Friday (except this post is done).  Checking my archives, I find that I’ve posted on The Grumpies once before in 2009.  Oh, well.   Change the title.  No Big Deals today. The Grumpies are gone.  Again.  Thank God.

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5 Comments on “The Grumpies Again”

  1. Jeni Hill Ertmer Says:

    I dunno for sure but I’m thinking either “The Grumpies” are contagious and you got rid of ’em by sending them off in an easterly direction or something else bit me in the butt because I got up with a case of them this morning. Stomach was edgy with anxiety -for what reason, I haven’t a clue. The desire to sit in a corner, drink beer, cry and pull my hair out, one strand at a time was there too. And, again I haven’t a clue as to what woke these attitudes in me today. My son did stop by for a quick cup of coffee and to watch a little tv (Speed channel -no accounting for viewing tastes there) while I looked over my Facebook, cleared e-mail, etc.Did my blood sugar test which was higher than it should be to start my day and that depressed me then. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t check the B.S. levels because yes, often it does depress me. No, not gonna go that route, but doesn’t stop me from thinking about it. So, just gonna try to ease myself out of this frame of mind if I can because it does really annoy me.

  2. smashjournal Says:

    Learning to live with our grumpies is half the battle, I guess. I know how they appear out of the blue. And I, too, have stopped blaming everything and everyone around me. I like what you said about rejoining your life already in progress. It’s like living in parralel worlds. Your life continues on, whether you’re involved or not. I have to give this some thought.

  3. I’m glad you’re in a better mood, now. I was quite grumpy earlier this week too.

  4. Coming East Says:

    So glad they don’t last more than a day, Bud. That’s an awful way to feel.

  5. territerri Says:

    I know that feeling. It’s an awful feeling. At my worst, I’ve simply gone back to my bedroom, pulled the room darkening shade and alternately slept or watched t.v. for the majority of the day. Like you, I might open my eyes to a new day and feel completely revived. I hate that it happens to me. I feel like I’m allowing it, but I’ve rarely been successful in talking myself out of it. It’s comforting to know at least that I’m not the only one.

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