offI slept really poorly l last night, waking at least half a dozen times and lying awake a while each time. I don’t remember dreaming but once at 3:30, I awoke with an aching sense that I was alone and unloved, in spite of the fact that the person who loves me most was snoring softly beside me.  Although I consider myself a morning person, when I rolled out of bed a little after eight, I was Off.  Grouchy.  I sat on the loveseat in our bedroom reading the news on my Nexus tablet. When Muri awoke, she had some things to tell me and I tried to be civil but I’m not sure I succeeded. After almost fifty years together, Muri knows me well … she went off to the park by herself.

It is a feature of my personality that I take the sunny mornings when I am, as my Mom used to say, brighteyed and bushytailed for granted.  But when I’m Off, there’s a persistent voice in my head that tells me Off will last forever … or at least for the rest of the day. That’s where the advice of my friend, Don, comes in.  Do the Next Indicated Thing, whatever you would have done if you weren’t Off.  A little breakfast … Life cereal and bananas … and a little caffeine took the edge off of Off. A cup of coffee from Mickie Dees and it was safe for me to be around people.  As I pulled up next to Muri at the park, I got a big smile and an, Are you feeling betterYes, I said  lying just a bit.  I did my Morning Pages and now, I’m sitting in the park, posting this on my smart phone using the WordPress app.

I’m not Off anymore.  That voice in my head was wrong, as usual.  But next time I wake up Off, I’m sure it will be there telling me the same thing.  And I’ll be doing the Next Indicated Thing … again.

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3 Comments on “Off”

  1. granny1947 Says:

    Don’t feel alone…we all have those “off” mornings.

  2. I have that frequently, attributed to dreams. I’ll dream something (usually involving Guess Who?) and it will throw me for the rest of the day. Good for you for breaking free of it!

  3. Apparently your system and mine must have been in sync Sunday night with respect to the poor sleep deal. Except I couldn’t fall asleep! Very frustrating as I had to be up and awake early for the kids to get them ready for school (Well, actually only Maya as Kurtis, having been sick Sunday, was not going to school then today.) I was tired when I went to bed and should have been able to fall asleep easily but as soon as my head hit the pillow, it seemed to rejuvenate my system somewhat. I hate when things like that happen. As a result, I was really “off” all day then mainly because I was so tired I just wanted to sleep and sleep! Hopefully tonight I will fare better in that department.

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