One Step from the Light

tunnelYesterday, while I was catching up on the reading side of blogging, I read a post by Terri of These Are Days regarding her aging parents.  In it she expressed frustration that in a world where the media is fond of reporting on elders who are leading happy, fulfilling lives into their later years hers are struggling with illness.  While there is no doubt that seniors generally are more active than even the last generation, idiotic catch-phrases like Sixty is the New Forty can give the impression that aging isn’t hard any more. I’m here to tell you that even in the best of cases … and I think that my life is one of those … it’s not always a pretty picture. But enough about that.

Terri expressed surprise that she was angry about something that is at its essence, sad. Now, with that, I have some experience … very current experience.   I’ve only recently emerged from a period of anger over a very sad situation in my family.   Now, I’m fighting depression. Thinking about what Terri’s going through, I realized I was in the midst of grieving.   Too often, I forget that we need to grieve loss of dreams and hopes as much as we need to grieve death of loved ones.  And grieving goes through specific stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.     When I look at my situation that way, my anger is a normal part of the process.   And my depression may mean that I’m only one step from acceptance.

That’s not to say that depression should be lightly regarded … clinical depression is serious business. But conditional depression is part of the human emotional process. And I may not be home free. The grieving process is notoriously non-linear and jumping back and forth between stages is common.  But I’m hoping that I’m One Step Away from the Light at the end of the tunnel.  Sure hope it’s not a train.

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2 Comments on “One Step from the Light”

  1. territerri Says:

    Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience with me. I wrote my post out of a need to express my inability to control the situation. Almost immediately upon finishing, I felt guilty and wondered if others would think I was callous for some of the things I said.

    As I read about your feelings with your own situation, I realize that I want to fight the feelings associated with my situation. I want to be able to face it and deal with it without getting so emotional. Understanding that all of these feelings are a part of the grieving process helps me accept them and allow them to happen.

  2. cherperz Says:

    Sorry, I am late…as usual. I think grief is a very difficult emotion that takes many forms AND those forms are like shifting sand. About the time I think I have reached the point of acceptance of a situation, something will trigger a memory and I am back to sadness.

    I hope you both can see the light at the end of the tunnel and…I, also hope there are no trains in sight.

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