Monday Smiles – 12/30/2013

If you’ve been coming around here for a while, you might guess that I am susceptible to the Post-Holiday Blues.  After all, I am passionate, which accentuates not just the highs but the lows.  I am prone to moderate depression and while medication has been helpful, some mild depression can still sneak by.  I am admittedly high-maintenance, requiring a variety of routines like journaling, 12-Step meetings and close friendships to keep my chin up.  Yes, meditation helps but for whatever reason, I don’t do it (see Resolutions in two days).  I am crazy about my grandskids and have just returned home to California from Christmas with them in Arizona.  Looking at pictures doesn’t come close to feeling their warm little selves by my side.

Christmas 2013

I am self-employed and semi-retired.  Even in our busiest times, business in January was rarely brisk and this year is no exception.  These days that means tapping IRAs for funds and finding the discipline to keep myself busy when there’s no work.  The flexibility that brings to my life is wonderful, the uncertainty not so much.  I have already taken down our little Christmas Tree in Arizona and in the next few days, I’ll undecorate the house here in Anaheim Hills.  It’s elementary mathematics:

tree up = happy
tree down = sad

After dinner and a movie with friends on New Years Eve (too old to party, you know) and a college football orgy on New Years Day, the holidays will be over.  Back to the same old same old. You might say I’m starting over.

You might.  But many years ago, someone taught me that in life, you are never starting over.  Everything you do and everything you experience influences whatever comes next … and I’ve got sixty-nine years of mostly wonderful experiences in my backpack.  Oh, yeah, there are a few clunkers, too, but hopefully I’ve learned from them.  There is no starting over … only starting again. And by the way, my same old same old is pretty damned good.  There will be bumps in the road but I’m well-equipped to handle them.  I have experience.  I have my wife, Muri, my family and an odd but wonderful cadre of friends with whom to travel and when I need an enclave, there are new books to read and music … new discoveries and old friends … to enjoy.  There are posts to write.  My spot in our park and its assortment of critters awaits.   Maybe this is the year I start painting again … or (re)learn Moondance on the guitar.  Yes, it’s those maybes that make life interesting.  Yeah, I can do this.  It’s Monday … I’m smiling.


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6 Comments on “Monday Smiles – 12/30/2013”

  1. Wendy Says:

    Me too: Tree up -happy. Tree down- let down. Taking down the tree means the end of the season for me; I did that yesterday. I so agree that everything to this point in life is an influence, both good and not so good. One never starts over. We can’t. But, choosing to focus on the good in “starting again” is indeed what makes it all interesting.Looking forward to reading how those interests engage you.

  2. cherperz Says:

    I have to think a lot of people feel a “let down” after spending time with friends and family over the holiday. It doesn’t seem that the tree up or tree down factors into it for me, but getting back into the mundane routine that go with everyday life seems a little harder to bare after having so much fun for the last week or so.

    Interesting point about not starting over but starting again. I wouldn’t actually want to start anything over again. I have come down the road too far to turn back and I like the road…bumps and all.

  3. territerri Says:

    I see many aspects of myself in the things you write here. Not only am I affected by the post-holiday blues, but the time of year and lack of sunshine always seems to knock me on my butt. There are so many good reminders for me in your words today, so thank you. Getting back to normal routine always seems to help too, as much as I always seem to dread getting back to “normal” after the holidays.

    Also, the sun is currently shining through my living room window, so bright, it’s glaring in my eyes. I’m gonna choose to be grateful for that right now.

    • oldereyes Says:

      Well it’s sunny and fairly warm her in Socal, so it isn’t the gloom outside, it’s the gloom inside (which is at least curable). I’m not sure waht normal is any more.

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