Still Here

off the railsI have not posted here on Older Eyes – Bud’s Blog for over two weeks.  What’s remarkable (at least to me) is not the duration of the blogging hiatus … I’ve done that before, for example, after posting every day for two years to participate in WordPress Postaday (whew).   What’s remarkable (to me) is that the break wasn’t planned.  Now, back in my Postaday days, I had a cadre of regular readers (whose blogs, by the way, I regularly read) that might have noticed a two week absence and asked, Where are you?  Alas, in the last few years, I’ve become more of a poster and less of a blogger (the reading of other’s blogs marking the difference) and my regulars are family and a few friends who comment on my posts by email or in person.  And who know I’m Still Here.  As one gets older, Still Here acquires a different meaning than it did in my arrogant forties.  After all, does Still Here mean still blogging or still alive?  Even in my short blogging career, a blogging friend posted about her surprise diagnosis of a terminal illness then disappeared from the blogosphere.  It’s likely she’s not Still Here at all.  Not to be flippant, but I am happy to be still here on both counts, for now.

I suppose this could sound macabre to someone with Younger Eyes, but I don’t see it that way.  The possibility of not being Still Here in the larger sense often gives me perspective, particularly when I feel as if I’ve been off the rails for a while.   In the last two weeks, I have been caught in a perfect storm of activities, looking up at twin mountains of Too Much to Do and Too Much to Want to Do.   There was a wonderful week in Arizona with friends and to celebrate the birthdays of my daughter and grandson.  There was realizing that I’d scheduled a critical government inspection of our company for the week I was in Arizona and having it rescheduled the day before my appointment with my tax guy (Monday and Tuesday of next week).  There were piles of paperwork to be done for both appointments.  There were two jobs that suddenly required urgent attention.  And there were numerous nights without enough sleep because I lay awake trying to solve it all in my head.  Like I say, off the rails.

I’m a lucky man. I have a wife who knows how I can be at times like this and balances staying out of my way with offering a few words of support.  I have friends who listen to me whine and make suggestions without telling me what I should do.   And over the years, I’ve picked up a few tools for living.  Easy Does It … driving myself too hard doesn’t really help.  Do the Next Indicated Thing … don’t try to solve it all at once.   This Too Shall Pass … the worst and the best times don’t last forever.  My friend, Ralph, laughed and told me I have Quality Problems … indeed, it’s family, friends, work I like most of the time and financial security that I’m whining about.  And yes, I’m Still Here … I get another day in God’s World.  Which is why I’m Still Here on Bud’s Blog … and back on the rails, mostly.  Still, I’d look both ways before crossing my tracks, if I were you.

Have a great weekend.

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