After my Thursday Night Men’s Meeting, someone came by to help me put away the coffee supplies. It is not a hard job and I know that if someone comes by to help, they probably want to talk. There is a lot going on in his life, and he wants to learn not to let those things bother him so much. He’s heard me share in meetings and he thinks I can help him be more positive. He wants me to sponsor him. When I asked my first sponsor to work with me, he didn’t say Yes immediately. He said, Let’s have dinner together and talk about how I do this and what you expect. If you still want me to sponsor you then I will. I did and he did for 16 years. That is precisely what I said to my Thursday Night friend.
What I will tell my friend over dinner is that, for me, there is no magic. Judgement, self-doubt and negativity still live in my head, just as surely as they did 22 years ago, when I first started working the 12-Steps. I asked my Higher Power to remove my Defects of Character, and some were removed. Others just hide in the recesses of this old brain, like Steven Spielberg’s Gremlins, re-emerging while I sleep to plant thought-bombs that explode as I drag myself down the stairs to the breakfast table. Life sucks … You can’t … I don’t care … You care too much … Don’t do Morning Pages today, there’s work to do … Why do you waste your time with prayer and meditation? … What do you have to be grateful for? My job each morning is to send any Gremlins that have escaped back to their dungeon and lock the door, even though I know some will likely pick the lock once I’m asleep again. In 22 years, I have earned the tools to herd and corral Gremlins. But it isn’t easy and it isn’t magic.
If that’s OK and my Thursday night friend is willing to do the work, I’ll sponsor him. If he wants magic, he’ll have to find someone who has it. I don’t know that guy.