This is a repost of something I posted at the end of 2009, the year I started Older Eyes – Bud’s Blog.  I don’t remember what was going on but obviously I was looking for guidance.  This has been a difficult few months and I find myself looking again.   The same thoughts apply.

Years ago, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.    When she went through surgery and the subsequent radiation, my son’s cat, Mr. B, was staying with us.   Mr. B was an affectionate people-loving cat to start with but when my wife came home from the hospital, he became her constant companion.   He’d curl up next to her on her pillow whenever she was in bed and drape himself over her neck when she came home exhausted from radiation treatments.   A genuine bond formed between them.   After the twelve weeks of radiation were over, we made plans to go back east and visit our families.   The morning we were leaving, Mr. B was killed by a coyote in our front yard which was devastating to both of us.    I don’t remember which of us it was that suggested that he was an angel who’d been called home because his job looking after my wife was done.    Interestingly, when I told my sister what had happened, she suggested the same thing.  Of course, we aren’t the first to suggest that our felines might be angels … Allen and Linda Anderson’s book, Angel Cats – Divine Messengers of Comfort, is full of similar stories.

According to the Harris Poll of December 2005 on The Religious and Other Beliefs of Americans, 68% of Americans believe in spiritual beings known as angels, which comes from the Greek word aggelos or the Hebrew word mal’ak, both meaning messenger.   Indeed, according to the Catholic Encyclopedia, the angels of the Bible generally appear in the role of God’s messengers to mankind.   They are His instruments by whom He communicates His will to men.  Perhaps most familiar … and comforting to those that believe in them … are Guardian Angels who stay with each individual, watching over them and guiding their spiritual lives.  There are many good sites where you can read about what others believe about angels, as well as stories of encounters with angels … try Your Caring Angels, Angels Online or I Believe in Angels.

I like the idea of angels and have reached an age where I can believe in things that I’ve never experienced.  But in my life, other than a cat here and there, my angels have all been of the human variety, at least to all appearances.  I’m inclined to think that’s the way God speaks to humans and certainly to me.   I’m not sure I could deal philosophically with the appearance of a real angel, which is perhaps why I’ve never had an encounter.    Sometimes my angels come in the form of people who say just what I need to hear or offer exactly the support I need.    But the message isn’t always easy and neither are the angels.  Sometimes there are hard angels, people who really challenge me … because, I think, the message is a two-by-four to the side of the head that I wouldn’t listen to otherwise.   I hate those.

As March draws to a close and I wonder what comes next, I like to think there’s an angel out there with the message I need.  I may not be spiritually up to the arrival of a real angel and I sure hope it’s not a hard angel.  But I’m willing to listen.

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