Monday, Monday

The weekend rolled to a close with Mrs Eyes nervously studying for her written drivers license test on Monday, and both Mr. and Mrs. Eyes taking cold showers because the water heater wouldn’t heat water.  Hmm, is it still a water heater or just a large useless tank full of water in the garage?   We’d have to wait until Monday to find out when the plumber was scheduled to come sometime after lunch.  Because Mrs. Eyes had an appointment to renew her license Monday morning at 10:40, and being the wonderful husband he is, he agreed to keep her company.  Appointment: a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting.  From the California DMV website: Welcome to the DMV Appointment System. For faster service, please schedule an appointment before visiting a DMV field office.  Seemed sure we’d be home by 1:00 pm to meet the plumber, right?   Wrong.

The DMV is a nightmare.  Even if you arrive 15 minutes before your appointment, you don’t even make it to the front of the line by your appointment time.  Then they ship you off to fill out an application on one of their computer terminals, after which the give you a two-letter, four-digit code (say FF0055).  Periodically, one of the codes is announced over a PA system and shown on an array of a TV screens positioned around the room, inviting the holder of said number to come to one of 26 windows to have their identification verified and their eyes checked.   Remember that number … 26 windows.   An hour and twenty minutes later, Mrs. Eyes number has not been called … and a text appears on Older Eyes’ phone:  Your technician from Barker and Son’s Plumbing is on his way to your home.  We look forward to serving you.  Hmmm.   I call and ask Missy, the pleasant customer service lady, to postpone our plumbing appointment.  Will between two and four be OK? the voice on the other end of the phone asks.   I answer in the affirmative.  Wrong again.  Because, you see, those 26 windows … 26, remember? … all feed one line to get your photo taken, take your written test, and get your results.   That is being service by one (count’em, one) clerk.  And according to official DMV policy, she isn’t in a hurry.  At 2:00, Mrs. Eyes is still in a line.  I call the pleasant customer service desk and tell Missy the bad news.  Just call us when you start home, she says.   That happens at about 2:30.  Apparently, the word appointment has a different meaning in the alternate universe that is the DMV.

Not so with Barker Brothers Plumbing … the lime and blue Barker Brother’s truck is parked in front of our house when we pull up and Bill, our technician, is dozing behind the wheel.  I tap gently on the side window and he jumps to attention to inspect our water heater, which is in the garage.   Well, I can replace the igniter unit for $470, he says, but the problem is that the inside of the tank is crusted with sediment, so it has to work harder to heat the water.  I have no idea how long a replacement unit would last.  I’d recommend replacing it with a better unit.  How much?   One hundred and seventy five million, Bill answers.   Deal, says Older Eyes.   No, the price wasn’t that high nor was the decision that easy, but it’s now 7:00 and Bill is completing the installation of a 50 gallon Bradford-White water heater.   Mrs. Eyes was exhausted and not feeling well after her long day.  Do you mind if I don’t make dinner? she asked.  I just want to lie down.  She did.  I am waiting to hand Bill a check that will leave us destitute, then I will pick up something for dinner to take to the park.  Maybe a walk with a handful of peanuts for the squirrels then a quiet time watching the sunset over the lake will salvage what was a very boring day.

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day.  Great song, though.

 

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