Nowhere to Go

Posted December 23, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: humor

Tags: , , ,

I found this post languishing nearly finished in my draft folder.   I think it’s pretty funny as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

hours-highway-truck20060928_0120-2016-09-27-13-43-e1494531460183-2017-05-15-09-30So, you’re driving on the freeway. Yes, depending where you live, it might be the turnpike, throughway, parkway, highway or expressway. Just assume lots of lanes, speed limit, say, 65 mph. Traffic is moderate but moving along, heavy 18-wheelers mostly hanging out in the right lane. If you are a driver like me, you are in the second lane from the right where you can move along at a few mph above the speed limit, but not deal with crazies in the speed lanes. As you begin an incline, the eighteen wheeler ahead of you begins to slow and you are gaining on it steadily. Out of the corner of your eye in your right side mirror you see a Honda Civic coming up fast, clearly trying to get by you before you catch up with the truck. Do you: (a) slow down and let him pass then cut ahead of you; or, (b) slowly accelerate so that he can’t? Me? These days I’m almost always the (a)-guy but every once in while, the (b)-guy sneaks out. When I’m the (a)-guy, I think, Now where does he think he’s going? before letting the Civic slide by. If I think, Where the hell do you think you’re going, idiot? the (b)-guy is in charge.

The (b)-guy isn’t satisfied just to keep him from passing. He accelerates gradually so the Civic driver on his right keeps thinking he can make it. The (b)-guy knows if he times it perfectly, not only will the Honda not be able to cut ahead, the car behind him will catch enough up keep it trapped behindPSX_20181223_083757 the truck. Points are accumulated for each minute the would be right-side-passer has Nowhere to Go. The question is, how long will the sensible (a)-guy let the (b)-guy keep it up. The record is five minutes. That’s because my friend, Gary, says if you miss your exit playing a road game, you are really crazy. Even my (b)-guy doesn’t want to be considered really crazy so he zips past the truck and bails when our exit comes up. Some day I’ll tell you about the (c)-guy. He’s really crazy.

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Santa’s Ornaments

Posted December 22, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: Christmas

Tags: , , ,

the ornament

For as far back as I can remember (a lot of years, he said, still wondering where they went), every Christmas Santa’s Ornaments would appear on the family Christmas tree, waiting to be discovered by the kids in the morning. As I grew older and realized the several new ornaments each year were purchased by Mom or Dad, I still looked for the ornaments in the morning as if they were Santa’s. The two or three ornaments we’d find every Christmas were always special, never of the dozen balls-in-a-box variety … maybe crystal bells or a hand-blown Santa, and over the years they became family treasures.

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Here We Go … Again

Posted December 13, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: humor, perspectives

Tags: , , , ,

indexzThis week, during  podcast titled Winging It, Steph Currie asserted that he didn’t believe we had ever landed a man on the moon.   Of course, three other NBA players, Vince Carter, Kent Bazemore, and Andre Iguodala agreed with him.   As the biggest star of the group, Currie is getting the most attention for what the press is calling his mental air ball.   Given Kyrie Irving’s even more outlandish declaration the the earth is flat, I am wondering whether the NBA has ever produced an educated player.  Easy folks.  I’m just joking.  I was tempted toindex cite Bill Bradley as an educated NBA player, but given that he is white, and our country’s penchant for political correctness, I’d probably be called a racist.  So, instead, I’ll cite a post on Reddit, All-Time Nerd Squad: The Most Educated NBA Players  which offers a mixed race selection of NBA scholars.  Mr. Currie and Mr. Irving are not among them. Read the rest of this post »

Feeling It

Posted December 6, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

Tags: , , , ,

neillold

When I was 69 years old, my wife Muri and I were at a Neil Diamond concert at (of course) the Greek Theater. Isn’t it odd to see your childhood favorites age along with you? At the intermission, an older gentleman (six years older, to be exact) and I were talking. For some reason, he felt compelled to bestow on me these prophetic words: The road from 69 to 75 is a tough one. At sixty-nine I was blogging here regularly and based on my posts, several of my back-then readers had told me, You seem to have this aging down. I believed I did and so I filed the advice from my momentary concert acquaintance as his problem, not mine. But he was right.

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Thanks

Posted November 22, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

Tags: , , ,

thanksgiving

Last night on Erev Thanksgiving, I was looking through my posts from past Thanksgivings. After 9 years of on again off again blogging, I need to check the past before charging off on a new idea that might turn out to be an old one. For a number of years, I’ve featured a gratitude video I made back in 2011, photos of the many things I’m grateful for set to Louis Armstrong’s beautiful version Beautiful World. As such things do these days, it made me verklempt. As one ages, the good things in one’s past seem more and more precious. This is the video.

Seven years doesn’t seem like a long time at seventy four, but there are so many photos I’d add today but I am away from home with my grandkids, so that is not an option. Since made that video, my grandkids have grown and moved to Utah, we’ve sold our little house in the desert, and my business has gone into hibernation. There have been illnesses among family and friends, some with recovery and some not. we said goodbye to two cats we loved and adopted a handsome rescue named Claude. My wife and I have more aches and pains, but watching our contemporaries, we feel fortunate. Our small cadre of friends and family are more precious than ever. We celebrated fifty years of marriage and I love my wife more than ever. We have some big decisions to make that are making us crazy but they are decisions we are lucky to have at our disposal. So … I remain a grateful old coot. Sometimes the gratitude is a feeling that swells up inside me and brings tears to my eyes. Other times, it’s an action, assuming an attitude of gratitude that reminds me that even when I’m feeling down, I’m a lucky man. Isn’t that what Thinksgiving is about?

THanksgivingFrom Oldereyes

(Favorite) Friday Favorite

Posted November 16, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: Friday Favorites

Tags: , , , , ,

friday2

I know I am getting old when my nostalgic Thursday morning consists of reading the nostalgic posts I wrote between 2010 and 2014 on this blog under the title Friday Favorites. Yes, I am nostalgic over my nostalgia. (That would be nostalgia^2) (engineering humor) (not funny). There are over 200 Friday Favorites posts, most of them looking back over seven decades of life to find favorite songs, favorite vacations, favorite events … favorite you name it. I also (re)discovered that I was getting old back then. When I accidentally searched for Friday Favorties (one of my Favorite typos, apparently) there were half a dozen posts so titled. Really. Yes, I are a writer.

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Rescue Cats

Posted November 15, 2018 by oldereyes
Categories: pets

Tags: , , ,

For several weeks now, I have been dealing (not very well) with a sprained foot and ankle.  It began with what seemed to be a minor sprain in the arch of my left foot and was aggravated when I had to lunge to catch a cat that was attempting to make a run for it.  I caught the cat but rolled my ankle painfully.  The cat’s name was Mittens, a resident at the Cats in Need cat rescue where I volunteer.   When I saw my doctor about my ankle, he asked how I hurt it.  He must be a cat lover because he said this: Some cats don’t want to be rescued.  It certainly would seem that way but the truth is, to a cat being locked in a cage in a strange place hardly seems like a rescue. Read the rest of this post »