Posted tagged ‘humor’

Nothing To Do But Write

March 6, 2017

It’s 1:45 in the afternoon and here I sit, in the Dallas Fort Worth Airport, American Airlines Terminal B, to be specific.   Back in the days when I was a regular business traveler, I was a member of the Admirals Club, a private lounge for American Airlines travelers willing to pay a hefty fee … in dollars or miles.  The Club has comfortable seating, private working areas, and snacks … plus sandwiches and drinks for a price.  If I was stuck with a three hour layover … like I have today … it was better than sitting at the gate.   Quieter, for one, at least until business travelers starting bringing their kids along.  Today, I am sitting at a counter with USB ports in the Gate B5 waiting area.   I have no special attachment to gate B5 but there are no flight scheduled for the next several hours so it is relatively quiet.   For about ten minutes, the alarm on an employees-only door kept going off, a high pitched squeal that leaves my teeth vibrating.   Desperate for power for my laptop, I waited it out.  A speaker on the ceiling over my head is prattling on about the madhouse that has become our national government.  It is only slightly less annoying than the alarm.   Terminal B mostly serves American Airlines secondary routes … like those to Huntsville, where I’m headed, so in front of me passengers trickle by in ones and twos, hunting for their departure gates or talking quietly.  Even with occasional gate change announcements, it’s not a bad place to write, especially when there’s nothing else to do.  It’s not the Admirals Club, for sure, but it’s better than the madhouse in terminal A, where I arrived from Socal.

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Travels with Britta and Barney

February 20, 2017

OLD COUPLELast week, Muri and I traveled to Florida to spend the week on Siesta Key with our good friends, Britta and Barney.  Let me say at this point that Britta has no use for social media, not even high class literary social media like Older Eyes- Bud’s Blog.  Hence, in the interest of preserving a very long friendship, Britta is a pseudonym, as is Barney.  They had rented a small cottage near the beach and invited us to join them and their two dogs, Keppah and Kishka.  Also pseudonyms.  Kishka isn’t fond of social media either.  Because Britta and Barney live on the East Coast (in an undisclosed location), we see them only occasionally. (more…)

The Glass Man

February 6, 2017

tmp_26154-th41331107174I have never liked to use the phone. Conversations and transactions, whether personal or business, that I easily conduct in person become loathesome by phone.   I don’t know why.  Perhaps it is because I come from a family of phonophobes.  I don’t think I have ever had a conversation of more than five minutes with either my father or my brother, and while my mother and sister were more that willing to converse on the on the phone, neither seemed to know that it was a device that could both place and receive calls.   On the other hand, perhaps it is a characteristic of most men. In my Thursday Night Men’s Group, calling the guys, whether it is for help with a problem or just to talk, is part of the program.   Whether it is the dislike of using of the phone or of asking for help, most of the men refer to the phone as too heavy to pick up.  Having lots of company doesn’t make being a phonophobe any more acceptable at home. (more…)

Razors

January 25, 2017

gilletteWhen I was about sixteen and headed off to a high school dance with a date … which means it was probably a prom … my Dad stopped me and told me I should shave before I went.   In a town that was largely Italian, I may have been two or three years past the usual first-shave age, but I was thrilled none-the-less.   Every boy wants to be a man until they’ve tried it for 20 or 30 years, at which point he realizes how much fun being a boy was.   My first shave was with my Dad’s electric razor.   As my beard thickened, I got my own Gillette double-edged safety razor, just like Dad’s.   You may not know that King Camp Gillette was the inventor of the disposable double-edged blade and was the supplier of safety razors to American troops during World War I.  Because GIs were allowed to keep their razors when the war was over, Gillette had a guaranteed customer base for his blades, making Gillette the dominant force in shaving supplies. (more…)

For Singing Out Loud

January 13, 2017

savy-singerMy granddaughter Savannah’s favorite gift this Christmas was a karaoke machine.  Once all the presents were opened and we each went to our corners to play with our favorite gifts, she switched on the machine, turned it up to full blast and began to sing … over and over … Call Me Maybe by Carly Ray Jepson (yes, I had to look that up).  To these old ears, Call Me Maybe sounds like a corny pop tune aimed at pre-adolescents in the midst of their first crush.  It’s harmless enough, easier to listen to than what Kohl’s plays over their sound system in the stores on a regular basis but … played more than five times in a row … it could be used in place of waterboarding.   I would conservatively guess Savannah sang it thirty times Christmas morning.

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A Year (or Five)

January 4, 2017

belated2Since I started Older Eyes – Bud’s Blog, I have tried to present a balanced view of aging … focusing as much as possible on the positives without ignoring the fact that, as people my age like to say, Getting Old is Not for the Faint of Heart.  I was 64 when I wrote my first post, Feeling Older, which is now the frontispiece to my home page.   Three years later, I wrote Feeling Old.  Looking back I can see that I wasn’t considering that going from Older to Old so quickly made titling a continuing progression of posts about aging problematic.  I mean, what now?  Feeling Ancient?

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The Holidays

December 7, 2016

happy-holidaysHalloween is long gone and our Thanksgiving cruise with the grandkids is behind us.    The lights are up in retail centers and neighborhoods, a reminder to watch out for crazy drivers looking for to scoop up the day’s bargains. Sirius XM has already switched the Love station to Holly and the annoying automobile commercials have commenced … Santa driving a Mercedes instead of a sleigh and a Lexus with a bow in the driveway on Christmas morning. Television is turning Santa into a shill for every product known to man … its a wonder any kids believe anymore. Perhaps they just pretend to humor their parents. And as sure as Kohl’s in-store music will include the most annoying versions of Christmas carols imaginable, the posts on Facebook have appeared to remind me that I should say Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays. (more…)