The first time I heard the saying, Life is in Session, was about 24 years ago in a 12-Step meeting for families and friends of alcoholics. Someone was going through a crisis and after they shared about it, they closed with, I guess life is just in session. I’ve probably heard the phrase thousands of times since then and it has never been used in reference to a pleasant or exciting event in life. It has always been associated with a difficult stretch of time, probably because families and friends of alcoholics seem to have more than their share of those. It is not so much a complaint as an acceptance that life is not always easy and that we are probably best off trying to learn something from what we are going through instead of just complaining. The notion that life is a classroom offering lessons we are intended to learn appeals to me philosophically … it even fits with what my Mom taught me about life … that it’s for growing. As somewhat of a lifelong student, it’s a notion that helps keep me going if I can see the value of the lessons I’m learning. But I’ve never done well in required course if I can’t see their purpose. (more…)
Posted tagged ‘love and marriage’
I am most often a grateful person who can look to the good things that life has given me instead of focusing on the difficulties. That is not an ability I was born with, in spite of the fact that I am the son of a woman who could do exactly that, even in her later years when the effects of diabetes were making her life harder and harder. Fortunately, pragmatic optimism and an attitude of gratitude can be learned … my particular education came in the rooms of a 12-Step program but I am sure there are other places it can be found. However, for the last few months … and in particular, the last few weeks … issues with my adult son have dragged me downward. A clash of lifestyles made it necessary for us to (finally) push him out the door and this week, after several false starts, he moved out … not, of course, without some nasty arguments with us on the way. To say life at home has been stressful is an understatement and it certainly doesn’t end with his moving. He is still our son and still on our minds. (more…)
I am an introspective sort of old guy. Being old … seventy-two, to be specific … is an advantage for an introspective man, providing lots of life to introspect (no, it’s not a word … consider it senior literary license). I am also a lucky man. As I move inexorably into my seventies, I am, as they say, comfortable in my own skin. No, I am not quite perfect … defects of character and irrational prejudices still haunt me … but for the most part, I manage not to act on them. Mistakes? Yes, Frank Sinatra, I’ve made a few but I’ve tried to learn from each of them and I think I am a better person for the effort. Pardon me if I pat my own back and say I have an examined life, which, according to Socrates, makes life worth living. These days, I find myself looking back over the years not in judgement but in curiosity, trying to understand what made me turn out as I am. So let me ask you this. Have you ever asked yourself, What was was the most significant year in determining who you are? (more…)
You probably know the rest … the Best is Yet to Be. You may even know that the phrase is the first line of a poem by Robert Browning with the unlikely title of Rabbi Ben Ezra, a poem that is more philosophical and less romantic than the opening line suggests. You may know that a song of the same name … loosely based on Browning’s poem … was one of John Lennon’s last compositions. Does it seem possible that the man who wrote Imagine wrote these lyrics?
Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
When our time has come
We will be as one
God bless our love
God bless our love
As of today, Mr. and Mrs. Eyes (aka Muri and Bud) have been married for forty-eight years. In case you were wondering, this is what a forty-eight year marriage looks like. Yes, there were a few tough times but who takes pictures of those? Besides, they were few and far between.
For quite a few years, I’ve attended a fall and spring retreat with my Thursday Night Men’s Group … and posted about it here on Older Eyes, Bud’s Blog. This year, for an assortment of reasons that shall remain private, I decided not to go. I told my wife Muri that we should go away for the weekend and have our own retreat. A week ago, I was checking for availability at the Blue Lantern Inn in Dana Point and found that their Tower Room was available as a last minute special … half price … for the weekend of the eighth, so I reserved it for Friday and Saturday night. The Tower Room is on the third floor, overlooking the marina and Dana Point Harbor, one of my favorite coastline views. Saturday, we had breakfast in or room while we watched a paddle board competition on the beach below. Our friend Jackie from Solana Beach came by around noon and we spent the afternoon talking in our room, then went to dinner at a local fish house. (more…)