Posted tagged ‘love and marriage’

Married, Fifty-Four Years

August 11, 2022

mb_weddingMy lovely wife, the love of my life, is fast asleep in our bed.  There is an anniversary card for me on the table next to me.  When she wakes tomorrow, I will have left for Best Friends Animal Society to help care for rescued cats.  I will have left a card for her.  It will be our 54th wedding anniversary.  Cards can’t possibly describe how much we love each other, but still we search the greeting card rack for ones that come close.  We won’t be buying any expensive gifts but we have tickets to see Singin’ in the Rain, the musical at the Hale Theater, then reservations for dinner at an Italian restaurant we like.   It is a simple way to celebrate the most important thing in our life.

When we lived in California, we had a sign over our bedroom door … it said Grow Old with Me, the Best is Yet to Be.  We’ve never put it up in our home in Utah.   The things we’ve dealt with since we got here … cancer, COVID, arthritis, and gradual decline we’ve both experience as we move through our seventies … made hanging it seem dishonest.  But here is the thing.  There is no place else I would rather be than by the side of Muriel Steingard Reed and I know she feels the same way about me.   She is the love of my life and travelling this path together makes the difficult times easier and the good times, well, maybe the best of times.  So maybe the sign is right after all.

grow old

Playing Favorites 6/24/2022

June 24, 2022

turnIt has been 5 weeks since my birthday.   It was a wonderful birthday … followed by what can best be described as a shit-storm.   Sorry if my choice of words offends you.   On the evening of my birthday, our son texted me with some legal issues he needed help with.  Never good.  The next day, my daughter told me they are moving to Texas, which is really hard to take, since to my recollection their promise not to leave Utah was one of the reasons we moved here.  The sense of betrayal that brings has been keeping me awake nights.  Then, we both came down with COVID.   A trip last weekend to Virginia to attend the Bar Mitvah of the son of our dearest friends left us exhausted but probably kept me sane.   It was a joyful occasion but seeing them surrounded by their kids and grandkids was also a reminder that ours would be moving away.  So, the last time I posted Playing Favorites, the song of the day was the saddest song I know, Shattered by Linda Ronstadt. (more…)

Best Days

October 17, 2020

This is a repost from 2013 when I was posting favorites every Friday.   I’m feeling nostalgic this morning so I thought I’d post it again.  It’s one of my favorite favorites.

frat pinThere are certain movies I can watch over and over again … it drives Muri crazy. Most of the films aren’t great films, although I do hold the North American record for viewings of The Godfather. My favorites are usually romantic and each has a scene I love: Sally Albright faking an orgasm in a busy restaurant in When Harry Met Sally; Ronnie Camereri and Loretta Castorini at the opera in Moonstruck; Bill Johnson, the soda jerk, discovering color and art in Pleasantville; Phil Connors gradually learning to be human by living Groundhog Day again and again. In Billy Crystal’s City Slickers, as Mitch, Phil and Ed are driving the herd from New Mexico to Colorado, Mitch talks about his Best Day, a trip to Yankee Stadium with his father.


Fifty-Two Years

August 11, 2020

I have no recollection of what I did on the day before I married Muriel Steingard, the woman that is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am told that the day of the wedding I nervously talked everyone’s ear off on the way to Temple Sinai for the ceremony. I don’t remember being nervous, but that probably means I was nervous the day before, too.

This year on the day before our 52nd Wedding Anniversary, I accompanied her to the Jordan Valley Cancer Center for her second chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. It has been that kind of year. On her birthday last month she had the chemo port surgically implanted in her shoulder. In years past, we’d have planned a mini-vacation or special date to celebrate but even if there were not cancer treatments, COVID-19 has put the kibosh on any real celebration in this strangest year of our 52 together. Since it is uncertain how she will feel on the 11th … and because we need to be especially careful about exposure during treatment … I made dinner at home on Sunday night; filet Mignon, baked potato and creamed corn. We ate in the dining room and put flowers on the table. It was nice. Tomorrow we will take it easy and, as they say, play it by ear.

The thing about this star-crossed anniversary is that it puts everything in perspective. There is no place on earth I would rather be than by my wife’s side as she goes through this. And there is no better anniversary present than the positive prognosis for her complete recovery. The way we care for each other during her treatment … and make no mistake, I need special care, too … is what love and fifty-two years of marriage is all about. There will be other years and anniversary celebrations to come, but this one will always be memorable, the year we walked through the unthinkable together. I love you, Muri, more than ever. Happy Anniversary.

Walking Music – 08/18/2020

July 18, 2020

As I said in my post, Walking with Music, in the interests of dispelling the grey-ghost of depression, I am going to occasional post a Walking with Music Artist of the Day and include one song that particularly touched me.  Maybe it can dispel a few grey-ghosts in some music lovers out there or just give them something to listen to.   Or not.   But if you stop by, leave me a like or a comment.  The grey-ghost hates those too.

It has been a tough morning.  Last night I didn’t sleep well, bitter about my wife’s upcoming cancer treatment and this morning, she’s been verklempt on and off.   I’m a better caregiver when I can get past the anger so after making sure she was OK with being alone for a while, I set off for my Walk with Music.   I chose a musical group I suspect most of you haven’t heard of, Pure Prairie League, because their upbeat country love songs are perfect to lift a tired heart.   PPL is an American country rock band that scored five consecutive Top 40 LPs in the 1970s and added a sixth in the 1980s. The band has had a long run, and as of 2019 continues to perform over 100 concerts a year in venues across the nation with concerts for 2020 already booked.   Their first album used a Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post cover showing a trail-worn cowboy, named Luke (shown above), who would appear on the cover of every Pure Prairie League recording thereafter.   This song is my favorite:

Enjoy and have a good weekend.

Gratitude Under Pressure

July 1, 2020

Twenty years ago, the Love of My Life was diagnosed with breast cancer.  The tumor was small and could be removed with a lumpectomy (although it took two tries to get it all).  She was treated with radiation and hormone therapy and regular mammograms, and in spite of a few false alarms, she remained cancer-free.   It seemed to be common knowledge that if you made it through 15 years without recurrence you were home free and we began to believe it.  Fortunately my wife, Muri, was conscientious about annual mammograms because last month, she had a callback for something suspicious.  What a shock.  If you have ever been down this road that no one wants to travel, you know it can be a maddening series of hopes and disappointment.  You hope that the ultrasound will show that its nothing to worry about.  Then you hope the biopsy will show it’s not cancer and then that its small and you caught it early.  Then you hope its a good cancer and not a bad cancer, a notion that would be ludicrous if it weren’t so true.   The specific characteristics of the cancer significantly affect the prognosis and course of treatment.  It can be a process that sucks the gratitude right out of you. (more…)

(Almost) Headed Home

December 28, 2018

thOur Christmas stay with our grandkids is over (sigh) and we are (Almost) Headed Home. Almost because our flight from Salt Lake City is delayed over two hours. It has been snowing here on and off for two days and, on the way to the airport the car next to us went into a 720-spin on the slick road and almost hit us. But the snow here isn’t the reason for our delay. Lightning storms in Texas delayed the plane’s departure from Austin to Salt Lake. You should know that in spite of the fact that I am a Million Mile flyer … and that I find the window seat at 30,000 feet a great place to work or write … I hate airports, especially on busy flight days.   OK. If I had an airport to myself … and maybe a few hand-selected friends … it might be tolerable.  I’m just not fond of being crammed into uncomfortable seating at the gates with hundreds of travelers. Businessmen talking (loudly so we’ll all know how important they are), closing deals on their cell phones. Noisy kids and noisy parents trying in vain to keep them under control. Lonely souls telling their life stories to anyone who will listen.  The inevitable babbler with the annoying voice who can’t seem to stop talking even though she ran out of things to say ten years ago. (more…)

(Favorite) Friday Favorite

November 16, 2018


I know I am getting old when my nostalgic Thursday morning consists of reading the nostalgic posts I wrote between 2010 and 2014 on this blog under the title Friday Favorites. Yes, I am nostalgic over my nostalgia. (That would be nostalgia^2) (engineering humor) (not funny). There are over 200 Friday Favorites posts, most of them looking back over seven decades of life to find favorite songs, favorite vacations, favorite events … favorite you name it. I also (re)discovered that I was getting old back then. When I accidentally searched for Friday Favorties (one of my Favorite typos, apparently) there were half a dozen posts so titled. Really. Yes, I are a writer.


Anniversary Songs

August 10, 2018

words and musicIf you’ve been coming around Older Eyes, Bud’s Blog for a while, you know he loves music.   His life has a soundtrack of thousands of tunes, tied to good memories and bad.  Mrs. Eyes (also known as Muri to my Bud) is not the music lover her husband is but our 50 year marriage (tomorrow) still has a soundtrack of love songs.   I thought I’d post a few today in preparation for the big day.

Our courtship began with coffee dates at The Campus Restaurant at the University of Connecticut.  This was likely playing on the jukebox and it still takes me back:


Monday, Monday

July 3, 2018

mondayThe weekend rolled to a close with Mrs Eyes nervously studying for her written drivers license test on Monday, and both Mr. and Mrs. Eyes taking cold showers because the water heater wouldn’t heat water.  Hmm, is it still a water heater or just a large useless tank full of water in the garage?   We’d have to wait until Monday to find out when the plumber was scheduled to come sometime after lunch.  Because Mrs. Eyes had an appointment to renew her license Monday morning at 10:40, and being the wonderful husband he is, he agreed to keep her company.  Appointment: a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting.  From the California DMV website: Welcome to the DMV Appointment System. For faster service, please schedule an appointment before visiting a DMV field office.  Seemed sure we’d be home by 1:00 pm to meet the plumber, right?   Wrong. (more…)