A Valentine’s Ramble

It snowed here in Daybreak, Utah last night.  Looks to me like 4 or 5 inches, the most we’ve had this year.  Cue the music … I’m Dreaming of a White Valentines Day … which does not, by the way, make up for this year’s Brown  Christmas.   For many years. my wife, Muri, and I went away for Valentines Day, where went away covered anything from staying at a nice hotel in the LA area to spending the weekend in some romantic distant place.   Perhaps the best of these was a weekend in Sedona.  We were talking yesterday about this year like no other, about how long its been since we actually went on a date.  That would be dinner at an odd little … (forgettable little) … (expensive little) … seafood restaurant in Salt Lake and a Utah Symphony concert OVER A YEAR AGO.  This comes after over fifty years of Saturday night dates.  Sixteen years ago, Valentine’s Day became my oldest grandson’s birthday.   Valentine’s Dates become getting away to Arizona and later, Utah, to spend the 14th with our daughter’s family to celebrate his birthday.   It wasn’t romantic but it was certainly about love.

Best Days

This is a repost from 2013 when I was posting favorites every Friday.   I’m feeling nostalgic this morning so I thought I’d post it again.  It’s one of my favorite favorites.

There are certain movies I can watch over and over again … it drives Muri crazy. Most of the films aren’t great films, although I do hold the North American record for viewings of The Godfather. My favorites are usually romantic and each has a scene I love: Sally Albright faking an orgasm in a busy restaurant in When Harry Met Sally; Ronnie Camereri and Loretta Castorini at the opera in Moonstruck; Bill Johnson, the soda jerk, discovering color and art in Pleasantville; Phil Connors gradually learning to be human by living Groundhog Day again and again. In Billy Crystal’s City Slickers, as Mitch, Phil and Ed are driving the herd from New Mexico to Colorado, Mitch talks about his Best Day, a trip to Yankee Stadium with his father.

From the Heart

Whether you are a romantic or not, whether you have a Valentine in your life or hate the day as 45% of Americans do, unless you lock yourself in your room today with the television off, you will see hearts everywhere. And odds are that somewhere during the day, you will hear someone say, I love you with all my heart. Now I think most people who know me would say I am a romantic, but I am also a scientist, a scientist who has within the past few years had a thorough evaluation of his heart by a

cardiologist. I assure you, he was not checking to see if I could love my Valentine, my wife Muri, in the way she deserves. No, he was making sure that a cardiac misfire hadn’t caused a blackout I experienced while riding my bike. It hadn’t and I’m fine, by the way, but having peered at my heart valves on the ultrasound machine, I know that my heart is a muscle, albeit a very sophisticated one. So what’s with all this Love from the Heart nonsense?

The Neighborhood

When my wife Muri and I were looking at our current house in Anaheim Hills, the owner told us it was a very friendly neighborhood that frequently had neighborhood block parties.  My Inner Curmudgeon didn’t see that as much of a reason to buy the house and I was inclined to agree.   But otherwise, the house was just what we wanted so we bought it.   Here we are, 17 years later and there hasn’t been a single block party.  The neighbors are friendly enough but not in a get-together-for-the-holidays kind of way.   Consequently, on Wednesday we were having a minor case of the All-Alone-with-Nothing-to-Do-on-the-Fourth Blues.  A movie is always a good place to escape the blues on a hot California day but, as usual, our choice was limited by the fact that we see a lot of (too many?) movies.  Limited to Jurassic Park Episode 132 or Won’t You Be My Neighbor.   Hmmm.  CGI dinosaurs or Mr. Rogers.   WYBMN had unbelievably good reviews and I’d rather have a sharp stick in the eye than another overdose of CGI, so Mr. Rogers won out.   But I have to admit, the thought of an hour and a half of Mr. Rogers gave me pause.

Older … Sadder … Wiser

I am aboard a Southwest flight from Cleveland OH to Orange County, returning from funeral services for my sister-in-law, GeorgeAnn, who passed suddenly from a massive heart attack last Monday.  There was a viewing on Friday night and on Saturday, a brief memorial service at the funeral home and grave side, then a luncheon back at the funeral home.  Everything was beautiful and in keeping with GeorgeAnn’s personality, upbeat, a celebration of her life rather than an occasion for grieving.   Personally, I am a crier.  When I lose someone, I need to cry and I’d rather do it with loved ones than alone at night or in my car at the park.  I didn’t know GeorgeAnn as well as most of the people attending so I went with their lead and only teared up a few times.

Tell Them … Again

This week, my brother’s wife, GeorgeAnn, passed away from a heart attack.   Just over eight years ago,  my sister-in-law, Sandy, passed away after weeks of fighting to recover from cancer surgery.   One passing sudden, taking your breath away, the other slow, agonizing … but the shock is the same, a loved one taken too soon, at least from our perspective here on earth.  And in the case of GeorgeAnn and Sandy, two truly good people who brought love, light and care to the lives of family and friends.   Back in 2009, I wrote a short post titled Tell Them, wondering if Sandy knew how much we loved her, how special she was. The message of that post was this: Tell them. Tell the people you love just how much they mean to you and tell them how you think they’re special. Don’t wait. Don’t be wondering someday if they knew.

So, here I sit in mentor OH, waiting to attend GeorgeAnn’s viewing tonight, wondering if I’ve gotten any better at this business of letting those I love know how much I care.  George Ann was funny, quirky, outspoken and compassionate.  She was a natural caregiver who cared for friends and family during difficult times, including my sister, Pat, and she was the light of my brother’s life.  She literally saved both my sibling’s lives in the past few years.  Did I thank her enough?  Did she know how much I loved her?  Perhaps.  But I’ll pass on the same message: Tell them … again.  Tell the people you love just how much they mean to you and tell them how you think they’re special. Don’t wait. Don’t be wondering someday if they knew.

Can You Believe … 49?

We have a group of four couples that we go out for dinner with for Christmas.  They are all friends we made when we moved into our first house in 1972.  We see each other sporadically during the year but Christmas is the only time we go out as a group.   One of the remarkable things about this group is that we have almost 200 years of marriage between us.   My wife, Muri, and I are doing our part with our 49th anniversary today.  Given our fairly long courtship at the University of Connecticut, we have known each other for 53 years.  Looking back at the immature, arrogant young man I was at 21, I have to believe I had some guidance in choosing her to be my wife.  Perhaps there’s some truth to the Jewish notion of a Basheert,  the name of the woman a man will marry announced by a voice from heaven 40 days he is born – literally a match made in heaven.

Silly Love Songs

A few years ago, Paul McCartney had a hit with his post-Beatles band, Wings, titled Silly Love Songs.  I really disliked that song, in spite of the fact that it had a catchy tune that I would find drifting though my brain at odd times.  Catchy is not necessarily good.  In this particular case, catchy was awful, a lesson as to what can happen when a songwriting team that has produced hundreds of songs that altered the music industry go off on their own.  You get Silly Love Songs and Instant Karma.  The subject matter of Silly Love Songs, I can’t argue with because I LOVE love songs.   After all, I grew up on Put Your Head on My Shoulder and Dream Lover and navigated college to Reach Out I’ll Be There and Unchained Melody.  And from my Mom, I learned a fondness for the great American Songbook, whether it was performed by Old Blue Eyes, Linda Ronstadt or Diana Krall.  And being somewhat of an old school rocker, I’ve always loved bombastic love songs of the sort recorded by bands like REO Speedwagon, Journey and Chicago.

With All My …

Whether you are a romantic or not, whether you have a Valentine in your life or hate the day as 45% of Americans do, unless you lock yourself in your room today with the television off, you will see hearts everywhere.  And odds are that somewhere during the day, you will hear someone say, I love you with all my heart.  Now I think most people who know me would say  I am a romantic, but I am also a scientist, a scientist who has within the past few years had a thorough evaluation of his heart by a cardiologist.  I assure you, he was not checking to see if I could love my Valentine, my wife Muri, in the way she deserves.  No, he was making sure that a cardiac misfire hadn’t caused a blackout I experienced while riding my bike.  It hadn’t and I’m fine, by the way, but having peered at my heart valves on the ultrasound machine, I know that my heart is a muscle, albeit a very sophisticated one.  So what’s with all this Love from the Heart nonsense?

A Pragmatic Valentine’s Day

I don’t remember my Dad making a big deal of Valentine’s Day.  I’m sure he did something, probably involving Whitman’s Chocolates.  I remember taking Valentines to school and the mini-agonies of getting fewer than your friends or picking out a special one for a girl but not getting one in return.  As a husband, I always tried to surprise Muri for Valentine’s Day, reading dozens of cards to find what that was just right, and buying her lots of presents including her favorite, See’s Candy.  In the best years for our business, the gifts were quite extravagant and given during Valentine’s Day mini-vacations in beautiful places.   Now, we’re in our sixties.  When holidays roll around, neither of us can think of gifts we really want … or, as Muri puts it, The things I want you can’t buy.  Besides, Valentine’s Day is my oldest grandson’s birthday and we’re here to help him celebrate.   So, it will be A Pragmatic Valentine’s Day, carefully picked out cards and I love you, nothing more.  To be honest, I can’t get used to it.