Not Resolutions

   Courtesy Washington Post

There was a time, I made New Years resolutions every year and posted them on New Years Day here on Oldereyes – Bud’s Blog.  The last time I did that was 2014.   Sometimes, I would grade myself on how well I kept them at the end of the year.  I was not an honor student.   At some point, I realized I was making basically the same resolutions every year, so I decided to convert my resolutions to a daily checklist that lives on my phone.   For a while I religiously recorded my self-improvement performance daily … until after a while I didn’t.  Oh, I know what’s on the checklist and try to follow my goals but nothing gets recorded.   There is a part of me wants to spontaneously be a better person and there is part that doesn’t want to be bothered.  My Inner Curmudgeon says, You are 78 years old.  You are what you are.  Still, I think resolutions are good for the soul … and unlike my mother, I don’t believe the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Without good intentions, we never improve, and the same Mom that warned against good intentions taught me that life is for growing.

Shall We Call Them Goals?

I have a friend who begins each New Year by making a list of goals then building up a Goal Board with pictures that help him visualize his goals.  He’s never told me whether he hangs the board in a conspicuous place in his house or not, but that would certainly assure that he’d remember them through the year. Maybe I’d do better on my resolutions if, instead of hiding my resolutions away on Bud’s Blog, I printed out this post to hang in my office. Maybe it’s a matter of terminology.   I found an article on the the Post-Crescent by Darlene Hengels that suggests Don’t make resolutions; set goals instead.  She says, I don’t like the term “making a resolution.” I prefer “setting goals.” They’re alike in meaning but “resolution” sounds ominous. You must do what you say you’ll do or you fail.  “Setting goals” means plans need to be made to keep moving forward. Your goal may not be achieved in a year, but that doesn’t mean you fail. As long as you continue to work toward your goal, you’ll be doing something positive.  Perhaps I’ve been setting goals all these years and calling them resolutions because I never feel like a failure at the end of the year, even when I give myself an F on one of last year’s resolutions.  Still, if only for the sake of tradition, here are my Resolutions for 2015:

Resolutions Past

For as long as I can remember, I have made New Year’s resolutions.   Some years, they were informal … someone would say, What are your resolutions for this year? and I’d make a few up on the spot.  Judging how well I’d done keeping them when someone asked, How did you do on last year’s resolutions? was hit or miss … depending on whether I could remember what I’d made up on the spot.  Twenty-five years ago, when I started journaling in the morning on a mostly regular basis, I began to write them in my journals.  I am and have been a wordy journalist and I fill a lot of pages so the likelihood of finding my last year’s resolutions did not improve dramatically … to many pages to search.  Then, in 2009, I started Older Eyes- Bud’s Blog and began to post my resolutions online – then go back the following year and grade myself on how well I did keeping them.  I am, after all, an engineer … performance metrics are ingrained in my consciousness.

A Resolution Fulfilled

Every year, I make New Years Resolutions, some, year after year.  Meditate regularly.  Paint and draw more.  Play the guitar.  A few resolution are fulfilled (usually the ones requiring the least time … or disruption of my routine).  Why a retired 69 year old man needs a routine is a bit of a mystery but watch your neighborhood seniors carefully and you will see I’m not alone.  Some resolutions just lie there like infertile seeds on dry ground.  Then there are those that simply take a while to germinate.  The point being … I just completed my first watercolor of 2014 and I’m quite pleased with it.  Back in 2012, I posted several paintings that I called Grids, done by masking the paper into small squares using drafting tape, then painting each square as if it is a miniature painting. Once one set of squares are complete and the paint is dry, I reposition the tape and after 4 re-tapings, the painting is done.  Back in 2012, I said, There’s something about working on each grid-square individually that allows me to let go of the larger painting and be completely surprised by the final result.  It’s almost like meditation.  So, maybe I can’t count this toward my meditation resolution, too 😉 .

Resolutions 2014

So, it’s time.   This year’s crop of resolutions looks a lot like last year’s … mainly because last year, I didn’t do so well.  In some cases, there were extenuating circumstances.  I was not even semi-retired for substantial periods of time and there were other issues (some resolved, some not) that occupied my attention.  I’d say overall, 2013 was a C year for resolutions.  As I’ve said before, I think resolutions are good for the soul … and unlike my mother, I don’t believe the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Without good intentions, we never improve, and the same Mom that warned against good intentions taught me that life is for growing.  I don’t think you can have it both ways, Mom.  Maybe this is the year I get my grades up.  Maybe.

Resolutions or Not?

It’s December 28.  Almost New Years Day.  Let the debate begin.  Resolutions or Not?

Since I started Bud’s Blog back in 2009, I have posted my New Years Resolutions here every year.   Some years, at this point in the year I have given myself a report card on how well I did living up to my resolutions.  To be quite honest, I don’t remember what I resolved last year which is probably a harbinger of poor grades for 2013.   Maybe we’ll talk about that in a day or two.  For now, let’s talk about the resolutions themselves.  If you go back and visit my resolutions for the past four years, you’ll see quite a few repeats.  For example, you’ll see Meditate ____ times a week (the number depends on the year).  Meditation is a practice that clearly contributes to my peace of mind.   It is also a practice that I regularly skip.  I have art supplies and musical instruments gathering dust at various locations in our home and they usually appear in my New Years resolutions, too.  Play more.  Paint more.  You get the point.  I was talking to Muri last night over dinner and she told me that Phil McGraw says that if you make the same New Years resolutions year after year, then maybe they are not for you.  Phil McGraw.  Dr. Phil.  Celebrity Doofus.  But could he be right?  I don’t think so.  To my way of thinking, a goal shouldn’t be jettisoned just because it’s elusive.  If it’s a worthwhile goal, why not restate it each New Years Day?  Or maybe modify it to be more achievable.  Sometimes things take time.  Maybe this is the year.

Resolutions 2013

For many years, I’ve been something of a self-improvement junkie.  I believe that introspection is good for the soul and that identifying areas that could stand some improvement (sometimes known as finding Defects of Character) should be part of a mindful life.  So goals … what we like to inflate into Resolutions on January 1 … show up in my journals all year.  New Years Day is just a time to put them all on the line and press Restart.  Age has taught me that it’s OK to be human, to come up short, so I won’t let my performance on last year’s resolutions discourage me.  If I were to grade myself, as I did last year at this time, I’d likely get an F.  Oh, well.  Here we go again.  There are a few new ones and some of the usual suspects.

Restart

It’s likely that anyone who’s ever owned a Windows PC has noticed that over time, it seems to run slower and slower.   Sometimes, that’s due to viruses and spyware, but even with a good spyware catcher in place, it happens.  Now, I know you Apple-folk out there want to put all blame on Microsoft … and some certainly is caused by the way Windows functions … but many developers of Windows software contribute to the problem.  Programs are designed to load at startup, even if they are not required, and others don’t shut down completely when the are closed, leaving applications known as processes open to steal processor time.  The Windows Registry, which keeps track of settings, instructions and mistakes, becomes bloated and fragmented over time, slowing things down even more.   Experts recommend restarting PCs regularly to shut down unnecessary processes, defragmenting the PC’s hard drive when needed and using a registry cleaner periodically to keep your PC running efficiently.

Hereby Resolved

OK, it’s time.  Resolutions time.  I was pleased this year that when I sat down with my favorite fountain pen to stream-of-consciousness my 2011 Resolutions, there was only a gentle drizzle – not the torrent of 2009.  And for the most part, the 2011 To-Dos seem to be course corrections.  I suppose that’s because 2010 has already earned a solid B, while I suspect 2009 deserved a C-.  I learned something from last year’s resolutions, too (what a concept!) … that imposing every day on a resolution can be a recipe for failure (or keep and B from being a A).  Since I got a D in Meditation last year, I’m going to have to repeat that resolution … but I’ll only resolve three times a week.  As my mother used to say, Semi-nirvana is better than no nirvana at all.  Actually, she said, The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I like my way better.  Anyway, here they are:

Marking the Past

Last year, I posted three New Years Resolutions on Older Eyes – Bud’s Blog.  Now, the year is coming to a close and it’s time to look back and see how I did.  It’s time for my Resolution Report Card.  When I was a boy, I was a good if not always industrious student.  My teachers, for the most part, liked me.  I never had to sweat report cards.   When it comes to life, I think of myself as an industrious student who doesn’t always follow through on what he’s learned. I’m also inclined to be a hard marker.