Posted tagged ‘self-talk’

A Letter to Yourself

April 24, 2013

writing penIt has been a long couple of weeks.  You’ve been working fourteen hours a day, Saturdays, too, trying to get a proposal out the door.  Your boss, Gunther, seems perfectly oblivious to the amount of time you’re putting in and the engineers whose stilted prose you’re editing into a polished document want to argue about every change.  You’ve been slipping out of work at 5:00 three days a week so you can go to Jeremy’s soccer practice then going back afterwards.  When you tried to give him a little help from the sidelines … Pass the ball, Jer, don’t dribble so much … he gave you one of his looks then pouted for the rest of practice.  When your wife, Suzie, said, He’s had a long day.  Go easy on him, you snapped at her.  Today, you went off to work without a goodbye from either one of them and Gunther’s waiting in your office with a list of mandatory suggestions for your proposal.  If someone doesn’t appreciate you soon, you may do something worse than snap at your wife.   So, let me ask you.  Who knows better how hard you’ve been working or all the extra things you’ve been doing to make this proposal a winner?   Who knows how exhausting it is to go to that soccer field then trudge back into work at night?  Who knows exactly what you need to hear?  It ain’t Gunther, that’s for sure, although he usually comes through at raise time.  And once she gets over being mad, Suzie will probably apologize and say something like, I know you’re working hard … but it’s not enough.  Nope.  Only one person knows exactly what to say.  It’s time for A Letter to Yourself. (more…)

Getting Validated

July 2, 2010

I suspect we’ve all been to a mall or entertainment complex where we’ve encountered a sign at the entry to the parking structure reading Parking Free with Validation – $(insert outrageous hourly rate) per Hour Otherwise.    Getting your parking ticket validated is easy … when you finish dinner, you only have to remember to hand it to the waiter, and he’ll have it stamped with the official seal.   Or, if you’re shopping, you may buy something inexpensive … say, a pack of gum … just so a store will stamp your ticket.   Bingo, ticket validated.  Bingo, free parking.

But what about when you need validating?   Perhaps not so easy judging by the number of books on self-esteem shelves in Borders.   Getting validated was the topic of our Tuesday Night Men’s Group this week, or more specifically, How do you avoid being too dependent on the people around you for validation? I liked the subject immediately because in (more…)