The Grey-Ghost

This is a post from my art blog, Artsy. about depression. It is bit different than what I usually post here but given the effect of the the COVID-19 pandemic on our country, I think that it is pertinent.

A few weeks ago, I was Rambling on Older Eyes, about fighting depression as I deal with the shit-storm that life seems to have dealt me in 2020.   I’m certainly not alone.   Time magazine reports that since COVID infected its way into our lives, about twice as many Americans are reporting moderate depression and about six times as many severe.  My wife and I were still adjusting a move into our new home in Utah after living in California for 50 years when the pandemic hit.  Like many people we are dismayed by the political rancor in our country and the way it is making the pandemic worse.  Add my daughter and wife dealing with breast cancer and you have the kind of environment that drives me from mild to moderate on the depression scale in spite of a daily anti-depressant.

Portrait

Last Wednesday, in A Resolution Fulfilled, I posted a watercolor project I’d completed.   As you can see, it is a grid of small watercolor squares, each a mostly random wash of color.  You can click on the image to see it at full resolution.

A Resolution Fulfilled

Every year, I make New Years Resolutions, some, year after year.  Meditate regularly.  Paint and draw more.  Play the guitar.  A few resolution are fulfilled (usually the ones requiring the least time … or disruption of my routine).  Why a retired 69 year old man needs a routine is a bit of a mystery but watch your neighborhood seniors carefully and you will see I’m not alone.  Some resolutions just lie there like infertile seeds on dry ground.  Then there are those that simply take a while to germinate.  The point being … I just completed my first watercolor of 2014 and I’m quite pleased with it.  Back in 2012, I posted several paintings that I called Grids, done by masking the paper into small squares using drafting tape, then painting each square as if it is a miniature painting. Once one set of squares are complete and the paint is dry, I reposition the tape and after 4 re-tapings, the painting is done.  Back in 2012, I said, There’s something about working on each grid-square individually that allows me to let go of the larger painting and be completely surprised by the final result.  It’s almost like meditation.  So, maybe I can’t count this toward my meditation resolution, too 😉 .

For Art’s Sake

There was a period of time … longer than I remember, judging by the pile of filled watercolor tablets in my closet … that I painted twice a week, usually on Saturdays and Wednesdays.  If I dig through the shelves in our garage, I can find pencil sketches and ink drawings dated over the last forty years.  Just this week, in a box labeled Memorabilia, I found a charcoal portrait of my wife, Muri, that I did during our courtship.  I have oil paintings done during high school.   If you were to ask me, Do you enjoy painting and drawing? I’d probably say, Yes.  If you asked, Then why don’t you do it more often? I’d have to give it some thought.  After all, Draw and paint more has been on my New Years Resolution list since I started Older Eyes – Bud’s Blog.  Yes, a partial answer would be, Time.  I only have so much time and painting seems to get lost in the shuffle.  But at various times over the last five years, I’ve been fully retired.  Time hasn’t been a good  excuse.  If, by the way, you asked, Are you an artist? I’d probably give you and 50 word answer about loving art, liking to paint, sometimes producing work that I think is pretty good.  But my answer would not be, Yes.

Digital or Analog?

Digital – Expressed in discrete numerical form, especially for use or generated by a computer or other electronic device.  A digital image is made up of discrete color squares called pixels and the colors are defined by digital discrete numbers defining a finite set of colors.

Tiger Eye – digital painting using MATLAB©

Florals

Yesterday, I stopped at our local Trader Joe’s to find something to make for dinner.   I’ve become addicted to Arnold Palmer’s made from TJ’s Unsweetened Black Tea and Organic Local Lemonade, so I had to restock my supply.   Among the things I like about Trader Joe’s is their selection of cut flowers at very reasonable prices.   When we first moved into our house in Anaheim Hills we bought a bouquet every week to brighten up  the living room, but like many nice but unessential habits, we stopped without noticing.  Our house can use a little brightening right now so I bought a mixed bundle, mostly Mums and Gerber Daisies.   My son once asked me if I like flowers a little bit too much for a man.   By most men’s standards, probably … I often wonder if I got a full Y chromosome.

Creativity

Creativity does not make something out of nothing ... instead, it makes something extraordinary out of what already is. To live the creative life, therefore, one must first accept life as it is.

Friday Favorties 7/29/2011

I’ve said before on Bud’s Blog that my Mom was a Renaissance woman, a lover of music and art … as well as an artist in her own right.   She took oil painting and drawing classes at the local high school and took the time to show me everything she learned.   Probably because I had more time to dedicate to painting than she did, I became fairly proficient at painting in oils.  I push a pretty mean pencil and a pretty decent India Ink pen.  If you’ve been around here for a while (since yesterday, even), you know I dabble in watercolors.  I’m no master but I’d say that as we wander through local art shows, Muri says, You could do better than that, for some significant percentage of the artists … but she’s a little biased.  Painting myself only makes me more in awe of real artists and, since watercolor is the medium I’m least comfortable with, masterful watercolors amaze me, so let me introduce you to my favorite watercolor artist.

Watercolors

Do you know how many things I have lined up to get back to in retirement?  Well, there’s writing … so far, that’s going pretty well.   There’s playing the guitar.  I even bought my son-in-law’s Martin DX with the easy action to make relearning chords less painful.  I learned the chords to Moondance, got to the point where I could almost make it through without a mistake … since then, nada.   Now, there are two guitars gathering dust, along with my native American flute.   Don’t even ask about the piano downstairs.   I bought a large (really large) art bag so I could collect all my art supplies in one place, ready for any moment that inspiration might strike.   Mr. P, our Siamese cat gets more use out of the art bag than I do … he’s decided that the top of the box is a perfect scratching post.  Bad kitty (not really).