Blogging the Blues

bluesMy blogging has been sporadic at best lately.  It is possible, I suppose, that I came back from my self-imposed blogging hiatus too soon.  Possible but I don’t think so.   The problem is that I’ve had the blues all week. I have gradually been recovering from my case of bronchitis … I’m only awake once or so a night coughing … but I’ve passed it on to my wife, Muri. and it’s almost harder to watch her walk through it than it was to get through it myself.   Yes, that may be the definition of a codependent or a very-caring-husband, depending on your point of view.  Although my coughing is mostly gone, the fatigue isn’t. Energetic Old Goat is my preferred persona and when I can’t be who I prefer to be, I get the blues. I like to think of myself as someone who looks at the bright side of things and when I can’t do that, I like to at least accept things as they are gracefully.   Having the blues doesn’t feel very graceful, hence having the blues gives me more blues.   If you’ve been coming around here for awhile, you know that periodically, I can slip over to the dark side, where I’m known as … no, not Darth Vader … Bud Dark. So, here I am, Blogging the Blues.

The circles I travel in are not particularly tolerant of the blues. If I complain too much about what’s going on in my life, someone may say, Wah, wah, wah. I’m going to call the waahmbulance. I actually find that pretty funny when I don’t have the blues. Sayings like, Get off the pity-pot and Having yourself a pity-party, aren’t you? are a little harder-edged. A woman in one of my meetings once asked me if I had PMS. Poor Me Syndrome, she explained,midol which I thought was funny after a while, too. It was even funnier when she handed me a Midol tablet in a meeting a few weeks later. The more supposedly-spiritual will remind me to Let Go and Let God or ask, Where’s your spiritual awareness?. When I’ve got the blues, I’m best off avoiding supposedly-spiritual sorts or at least keeping my mouth shut, knowing they mean well. Others will suggest that I Be cheerful even if I can’t be happy. I try to do that. Making a list of all the things I have to be grateful for helps … sometimes.

My wife, Muri, seems to handle the blues as well as anyone I know and she hasn’t had to work the 12-Steps for twenty years to do so. She seems to know innately that moods are a natural part of life and, for the most part, she doesn’t fight them … in herself or in me. She seems comfortable to let them pass without trying to bludgeon them into submission, as I’m inclined to do. Today, we are sitting in the park. She’s reading and I’m Blogging the Blues. My first sponsor taught me, When you don’t know what to do, do the Next Indicated Thing, whatever you’d be doing if nothing were bothering you. Sitting in the park and writing is certainly that for me and telling you about it has me feeling a little better. I’ll probably have a smile for you by Monday, since it is our 46th Wedding Anniversary.

Enjoy what’s left of your Sunday.

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One Comment on “Blogging the Blues”

  1. territerri Says:

    I have a tendency as well to try to fight off feelings and moods that I seem to think I shouldn’t be feeling. Only recently I’ve begun to grasp the idea that I can allow myself these moods without the guilt and look forward to a better day, hopefully in the very near future. Although, I’ve had bronchitis. It hurts! So who could blame you for getting the blues while waiting for it to move on out of your house.


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