Life-Changing

This morning, as usual, I picked may way through the news on my tablet, carefully avoiding coronavirus hysteria and articles on what ‘our president tweeted concerning things he knows nothing about.   It seems there is less and less that I bother to read.   Oh, there are a few things I liked.  The coronavirus has at least pushed climate change off the front pages … and Kindly Uncle Joe is making a comeback against Crazy Uncle Bernie.  And as always there’s something to give me a laugh to offset the grim news.  Today’s gem is an article on BGR titled This hidden Google Maps trick just changed my life.   Having recently been battling with Google Maps to get my home address to appear in the right place, I was intrigued.  Imagine my disappointment when I found that the trick was a way to add preferences to the restaurants that Google Maps suggests when you search in an area.  Really?   If that changes your life: (1) you are eating out entirely too much; and (2) you really don’t have a life.

Look, I get it that advertisers need to exaggerate when pitching their products because REALLY, their products are pretty much the same their competitor’s.  In the last few months I’ve heard that  Duluth Buck Naked Underwear (no pinch, no stink), Bombas socks (at a cool $25 a pair) and Boll and Branch sheets are life-changing.  There should be a warning following every such advertisements – If this makes you want to buy our product, GET A LIFE !!!

I was curious if there were even more outlandish life-changing products out there so I Googled life-changing products.  Google didn’t disappoint … pages and pages of so-called life-changing products.  Here’s a few from 33 Life Changing Products That Everyone Should Own on the appropriately named This is Why I’m Broke website.   For example, an LED Temperature Faucet Nozzle that illuminates the water blue for cold and red for hot.  According to the article the nozzle makes it perfect for avoiding third degree burns.  If you need a light up faucet nozzle to keep from burning yourself you need to … Yep.  GET A LIFE !!!  How about an Oreo (cookie) Dunking Spoon so you can Say farewell to those sticky fingers.  GET A LIFE!!!   For me the topper is the Thumb Ring Book Page Holder.  Not since The Clapper has an invention so simple yet so brilliant come along, the article proclaims.   GET A FREAKING LIFE !!!

A friend of ours has recently had a surgical procedure in which islet cells from a donor pancreas are injected into the liver of the recipient.  Islet cells produce the insulin that is lacking in many Type 1 diabetics.   The procedure is undergoing international clinical trails that show promise for eliminating the need for insulin injections in diabetics.  Regular injections of anti-rejection drugs are needed to prevent the body from rejecting these cells.  The trials are largely trying to determine how to balance the anti-rejection drugs to preserve the islet cells but not make the recipient sick.  Some patients have been able to go without insulin injections for several years.   Next time you think your socks or your underwear are life-changing look up Pancreatic Islet Transplantation to see something that’s TRULY life-changing.  Then GET A LIFE !!!

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Tags: commercials, curmudgeonly rants, gadjets, humor

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