Welcome to Bud’s Blog

Posted March 1, 2009 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes - Marcel Proust

Sometimes Older Eyes work, too - Bud

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Necessary Definitions

Sage – a wise man; a man of gravity and wisdom; especially, a man venerable for years, and of sound judgment and prudence.

Curmudgeon – an ill-tempered old person full of stubborn ideas or opinions.

Fool – A person with poor judgment or little intelligence; a jester, a person whose role was to entertain a sovereign and the court, often with foolishness.
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I’ve been wondering lately what it would be like to be able to relive my life knowing what I know now. Or if I was able to give my grown children a view of the world through my Older Eyes, would it change their lives? Here’s a provocative proposition: If I could get every twenty-year old to look at the world through sixty-four year old eyes for just a few minutes, it would either change them for the better or kill them. Provocative but probably not true. I doubt there are many young men making bucket lists as a result of watching Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.

With a do-over unlikely and getting my children to listen to my archaic opinions only slightly less so, I’ll record the view through my Older Eyes here in Bud’s Blog.   As you read each post, you decide … Sage, Curmudgeon, or Fool … we can agree to disagree on which is which. Your comments are welcome, whatever your age.   If what you read changes you for the better, I’d especially like to know.   Hopefully there will be no casualties.   If you are new here and want a taste of my Older Perspective before diving in, The Best of Feeling Older offers a few of my favorite posts on aging.  Finally, if my work inspires you to try blogging … or even if you think, Jeez, I can do this better than Older Eyes – there are a series of posts on doing just that on my page, Starting a WordPress Blog.

Guitar Lessons

Posted September 2, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

Tags: , , , ,

guitarWhen  I was about junior high age, I asked my parents if I could take guitar lessons.  My Mom found a music school in New Haven and off we went.  Now, at this particular school (they told us), they started all students out on the accordion to learn music basics.  Then, after six months, I would switch to my instrument of choice.  I worked hard to learn to read music.  Gradually, I worked my way from Mary Had a Little Lamb to Lady of Spain.  When the six months were over and I was ready for my guitar, the school tried to sell us an expensive accordion instead.  There were no guitar teachers.  I had not yet heard the maxim, Play an accordion, go to jail … it’s the law, but still, I said, No thank you.  Thus ended my music lessons until forty year later, when I’d take piano.
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Monday Smiles – 9/1/2014

Posted September 1, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: Monday smiles

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labor daySo, it’s Labor Day. There was a time … many years ago … that it meant summer vacation was over and it was time to go back to school.  That wasn’t so bad … I liked school and by the end of summer, I was ready to go back.   Once I started working, it meant a three day weekend … and that my commute would be slower with the kids going back to school.  Yes, I knew the day was meant to celebrate the American labor movement but being the son of a man who was vehemently anti-union, we didn’t talk much about that.  And, of course, it’s become perhaps the second biggest day for retail sales (after Black Friday).  Ironic that because of the sales, more people have to work on the holiday.  Now that I’m semi-retired and self-employed, I can have a three day weekend any time, it’s easy to miss it entirely unless I look a the calendar on my phone or Muri says, Monday’s Labor Day, Do we want to invite someone over?
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Friday Favorites 8/29/2014

Posted August 28, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: Friday Favorites

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Our First House in Yorba Linda

Our First House in Yorba Linda

This is probably a peculiar post, so let me explain how it happened.  I decided I would like to post about all the places I’ve lived … with pictures … on my Dad’s Legacy Blog that I’m building for my kids and grandkids.   I decided I wanted to post a picture of every apartment, dorm, room and house I’d lived it.   My wife Muri will tell you I can get a bit obsessive when I take on such a project.  The places that were truly home were easy … I had pictures already scanned.   I found an old picture that shows my dorm at the University of Connecticut and I found a picture of my freshman year dorm on the Stevens Tech website.  That left Google Maps Street View to find the rest.  In some cases, I didn’t remember the exact address and had to eyeball my choices.  One apartment has been torn down and another, I haven’t a clue where it was in Newton, MA.  Anyway, by the time I finished, I didn’t feel like starting on a Friday Favorites, so this is it.   I’ll understand if you decide to skip it.

I was thinking this morning about how many places I have lived in my seven decades.   I was born in New Haven, Connecticut and spent the first couple years of my life living with my Mom’s parents.   There are a few pictures of me and some relatives in that neighborhood but no memories.  When my Dad came home from service in WWII, we moved to a small apartment on The Boulevard in New Haven.  It was a neighborhood full of young families, so there were lots of kids to play with, many of whom I still remember with a little assistance from some old photos from my Dad’s house.  I had my first best friend there, Roy Winchester.  In the summer before I started fourth grade, we moved to small ranch house in East Haven, Connecticut.  They say that home is where the heart is, but some places have more heart than others … I would call 650 Bradley Street home for nineteen more years, even though I went away to college after 13 years and off to work after 17.  For college, I spent a year in the dorms at Stevens Tech, in Hoboken, NJ, a year in an apartment in Waterbury (while I attended a branch of the University of Connecticut), and two years in the dorms at the main campus in Storrs, CT.   When I took my first engineering job in 1966, I first rented a room in Brookline, Massachusetts then moved to an apartment that I shared with a UConn classmate in Newton, MA, not far from where the shootout with the Bostan Marathon bombers took place.  I would take a room in Newport, RI when I changed jobs until Muri and I got married. Read the rest of this post »

How Old?

Posted August 28, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

Tags: , , ,

image

Over the weekend, Muri and I attended the 75th birthday party of a friend, Eric. It was a lovely affair with lots of friends, a Southwestern dinner catered by a local restaurant, the Blue Agave, and a Mariachi band to accompany the festivities. Eric looks great for seventy-five. He still coaches the tennis team at a local high school and they tell me that he does all the stretches and exercises with the team. After we sang him Happy Birthday, he gave a short speech in which he said, I’ve always said I want to make it to a hundred. And I’m inviting you all to my hundredth birthday party. Here’s the truth … I thought, I don’t think I’ll make it, Eric.. That isn’t what I really meant, though. I meant I’m not sure I want to live ’til 95, the age I’d have to reach to attend Eric’s hundredth birthday party. Now I know there are a lot of people out there who say things like Age is just a number and Sixty is the new forty, which I suppose makes Ninety-five the new seventy five. But I haven’t seen too many people whose quality of life makes me want to live until ninety-five. My Dad, may he rest in peace, had some great years between seventy and ninety, years in which I got to know him man-to-man (instead of son-to-man). I treasure those years but from ninety on, his life consisted of an ever increasing frequency of trips to the hospital for relatively minor health problems. He passed away at ninety-two, after telling my sister, I don’t think I’m going to make it this time. He was ready.

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Poisonous

Posted August 26, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: feeling older

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Resentment is a poison you give yourself hoping someone someone else will die.

image I know this for a fact … I poisoned myself this weekend and no one else died. It just froze the joy out of my weekend. Resentment is like that. Anger burns. Resentment is cold and hard and casts a chilly pall over everything it touches … except the person you resent … they are, of course, oblivious. You’d think after 20-something years working the 12-steps, I’d have no resentments left but of course, there are a few hiding in the darker corners of my heart. This one is particularly vexing, since it’s a resentment for something done to someone I love, not to me. Yeah, freakin’ wonderful … a codependent resentment. It’s gotten in my way on several occasions before so it’s time to root it out. Read the rest of this post »

Monday Smiles – 8/25/2014

Posted August 25, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: Monday smiles

Tags: , , , ,

truthI’m going to tell you the truth (I like to do that here on Bud’s Blog … except when I’m embellishing it for literary purposes which I’m not doing today).  There weren’t many smiles this weekend and it’s nobody’s fault but my own.  I know.  Old Abe supposedly said that People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be, but I don’t buy it.  Sometimes, sad things happen.  Not this weekend.   I was my own worst enemy, letting an old resentment poison my mood.  You know what they say … A resentment is a poison you give yourself hoping someone else will die.  They never do, by the way.  Fortunately for everyone, I’ve learned that my moods are mine so I kept to myself as much as possible and when I was with other people (including a friend’s 75th birthday party Saturday night), I tried to be cheerful even if I wasn’t happy.  Of course, after a zillion years together, that doesn’t fool Muri.  She briefly tried to talk me out of my mood … she has even more of a right to this old resentment than I do, but she’s been able to let it go.  How does she do that? Read the rest of this post »

Friday Favorites 8/22/2014

Posted August 22, 2014 by oldereyes
Categories: Friday Favorites

Tags: , , , ,

bradley stI grew up in what was probably a lower middle class neighborhood, not that I even thought about such things back then.  It was my neighborhood and I was happy there.  Sure, I knew there were more affluent families and more upscale neighborhoods but I didn’t care.  I took it for granted that some of my friends had more money and some, less.  Some friends bought their clothes down at the shops around Yale University … I bought mine at the discount stores like Anderson Little.  A few kids had their own cars.  Quite a few came from multi-car families so they had ready access to a car.  My family had one car, Dad’s.  If Mom needed a car, she drove him to work then picked him up.   When I started to drive, sometimes, I’d do it for her … and sometimes, I’d do it for me so I could drive to school.  Dad was very reasonable about letting me borrow the car for dates and such, although he usually let me do my best negotiator routine before he handed me the keys. Read the rest of this post »


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